Enjoying Every Moment

Mother's Day Blessings

2010-05-08T13:39:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and Monday is my birthday. I've been looking back through the years at my Mother's day/Birthday posts. It amazes me how much changes in a year. Last year I was struggling with my illness and could not even get out of bed to enjoy my cake, so they brought it to me in bed.

God has worked miracles in my life and heart this past year.

Mom and DD are still living with us and it seems to be working out for everyone.
I think it's a great thing that the children have so many adults in one house that love them and give them all the attention they need.

There are times I wish it were the four of us again but those thoughts don't last very long. I really do enjoy them being here, just wish we had a tad more space.

I'm so thankful for my family, for my mother, for all of the mothers I have met that have inspired me, given me tips to survive the hard days and just been there to listen.

I pray for all those who have lost their mothers on this Mother's Day Weekend and those who may be estranged from their mothers. I pray for peace and strength for them.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Can He Really Be 6?

2010-05-01T22:58:00.002-05:00

My baby boy is 6, not sure where those 6 years have gone. I'm so grateful I was able to be home and throw him a birthday party this year (last year I was in the hospital and missed it).

He had a Star Wars party of course, three years in a row and I'm betting next year will be the same. We made light sabers out of pool noodles again (post pictures of those later). It rained so what was supposed to be an outside party quickly became an inside one. They had a blast having a picnic on the floor while watching the movie Star Wars The Clone Wars and had a light saber fight in my living room while I ran around removing all the breakables. :)
I will try and post more pictures of the actually party as soon as my photographer (MARLA) sends them to me :)

Happy 6th Birthday Roo Bear you have changed my world forever and I love you with all my heart.

2010-04-15T00:01:00.003-05:00

I have so much to catch up on. I spend what little time I have on facebook and have neglected the blog. So here are some quick updates and pictures.

In Jan. when it snowed. The four of us with Foxy, couldn't get Toby to get in the picture.

I was confirmed Catholic after a very long journey and decided it was what God was calling me to do. I still just call myself Christian though because I've never been a fan of labels.
Picture of Jose and I before leaving for my confirmation on Easter Vigil night.

Some Easter pictures of Ruben and Marissa. He is doing great in school and is taking guitar lessons and loving it. He has a recital coming up soon. Will post pics, he has a aqua blue guitar, with his spiky hair the kid is something else.

Marissa's lamb she got for Easter.

Ruben's dog with bunny ears he got for Easter.

So much more to catch up on and I will do it soon, promise.

Let Me Tell Ya 'bout My Guy

2010-01-16T22:23:00.001-06:00

This little guy is wise beyond his years.

He's more compassionate than most adults I know.

He has no problems doing the chores I assign because as he says 'that's what family does, we all have to do our part."

He fills my days with joy and makes my tomorrows brighter and he would do that even if he were not mine.

Oh and he cracks me up, like when he asked why his shoes had check-marks on them?

Christmas Rugrats

2009-12-25T19:27:00.004-06:00

We have cute kids. Every once in a while they can actually be kind and loving to one another like in this photo. Of course we have to force em to be that way. :-) What is more amazing is that they can wake up early, tear open gifts, play with those gifts, goof around, not take a nap, and still...still be wired up and not be tired.

I guess I'll just go back to relaxing and sipping on my hot apple cider.

Big Papi

Christmas Snapshots 2009

2009-12-18T16:29:00.002-06:00

Marissa's 3rd Birthday Party

2009-12-07T11:21:00.004-06:00

I know I'm a little late in posting these, better late than never I suppose. We went to Chuck E Cheese to celebrate her birthday. Mom was even well enough to go. She invited a couple little girls she likes and Ruben of course. She has a blast. I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked but we made a lot memories.

My baby is 3, I still haven't wrapped my head around that one yet.

She was not happy to see Chucky at first but in Daddy's arms she was OK with him.

She would not get in the ticket bubble so Roo did it for her.

Enjoy the pics and I will try and start posting on this blog more.

Thursday Thirteen, 13 Things about Marissa

2009-11-19T10:22:00.002-06:00

1. She was born 4 weeks early, two days after Thanskgiving on Nov. 28, 2006, with no big complications and so very beautiful.

2. She underwent surgery at 10 months to remove a cyst in her throat. This was taken after the surgery.

3. She's never been able to take her eyes off her brother for very long.

4. Little Miss Fearless loved and still loves to climb everything.

5. She hated eating her cake at her first birthday party.

6. She's always looked cute in anything.

7. She is sassy and spunky. She cracks me up on a hourly basis.

8. She was a lot happier on her second birthday.

Well until Daddy rubbed cake on her face again. I'm thinking brownies this year.

9. She has to take front and center with Roo and his friends.

10. She prefers to cut her own hair and is very proud of the results.

11. Her favorite outfit is any dress and her knee-high black boots.

12. She thinks she the boss.

13. And she's almost cute enough to get away with it.

Thank you Lord for our second blessing.

What an adventure it has been.

Your Gonna Miss This...Getting Ready for Winter

2009-11-14T21:58:00.006-06:00

It's time again to join Pam and reflect upon the moments we will miss the most since time seems to be moving at warp speed these days.

We have a wood burning stove in our family room (well it's our old family room, that now belongs to my mom and aunt).I hated that stove when we first moved in because it took up too much room. I had plans in my head of taking it out someday, but after the ice storm in Jan. the wood burning stove saved us when we were without electricity for three days.

So it will be part of our family as long as we are here.

Jose brought wood from outside this weekend and the kids ran to help him and actually carried a lot of wood in. They thought helping Daddy was the coolest thing ever. I'm positive that will not always be the case and I'm gonna miss that.

Making Memories the Moments I Can

2009-11-03T17:27:00.005-06:00

These days it's hard dealing with my medical issues and trying to make sure the kids have a normal life. I want to make memories with them and I don't want them to just remember that I was in bed all the time.

So I've made a promise to myself that I would continue to do all the holiday traditions that we have always done even if it means I'm in bed for the rest of the day or days.

Marissa was all about digging in the pumkins, while Roo would not get his hands dirty in any way.

Getting ready to carve the pumkins.

This Hug fest does not occur often.

The three of us in our pj's after Daddy lit the jack o laternes.

Fall and Halloween Pictures

2009-11-02T22:40:00.002-06:00

Storm Trooper and Tinker Bell

She's such a little ham.

Pictures From Hotel, Our first Stop going to NE

2009-10-21T12:26:00.005-05:00

The kids loved the pool and after all that driving Jose and I did too! It was a very relazing night as a family of four.

Daddy's Girl

2009-10-20T05:39:00.002-05:00

Trip to Nebraska, We Survived Two Days in the Car with the Kids

2009-10-17T02:08:00.005-05:00

I have neglected this blog lately.
Ruben is loving Kindergarten and I volunteer there about

three times a week and he loves me being there, for now at least.

So much has been going on, We recently went to NE because Jose's dad had blood clots in his legs. They were able to get the big ones but there is not much they can do for the small ones from the knee down. We drove down, drove halfway then stayed in a motel. It was great to see Jose's parents with the kids. Here are a few of the pictures I took on the road and while we were there.

Getting ready to leave Thursday morning.

Haven't even left the driveway and look at that face!

Marissa's hair after 6 hours in the car.

Finally we made it to Missouri

More pictures to come soon!

Soccer Season has Officially Began

2009-09-22T20:49:00.006-05:00

And he's loving every minute of it. Marissa is very upset that she has to wait until Spring to play though.

Your're Gonna Miss This....Sibling Togetherness

2009-08-31T00:34:00.008-05:00

It's time again to join Pam and reflect upon the moments we will miss the most since time seems to be moving at warp speed these days.

I'm definitely going to miss my children constantly wanting to play together. Now that Ruben is in school all day Marissa starts at around 9 am asking "Is it time to go pick up My Ruben yet" and she continues this at least every hour until it is finally time to go get him.

When it is her nap time he begs for her to stay up just a little longer so they can play together.
Don't get me wrong they have there days where they fight and I just want to put them in a room and let them ~~go at it~~ work it out. But for the most part they love being together and tell each other they love them at least 10 times a day.

I know I will miss this because I can't see it going on forever. There will be a time when Roo does not want his little sister tagging around and a time when Rissa has her sleep overs and will want Roo to camp out in the back away from her and her friends.

But for now I am enjoying just how much they show their love and friendship for each other.

Head on over to Pam's for more moments to see other's moments and share your own.

Happy Birthday to the Funniest Most Honorable Man I Know

2009-08-26T18:48:00.001-05:00

Today my honey turns 37, he's not happy about that but I am trying to convince him that 37 is in no way old.

Our anniversary is on Sun. and I have a post I am working on for that. God brought us together from many miles apart. And has seen us through so much in our 6 years of marriage.

But this post is dedicated to his birthday. I made him a German chocolate cake, his favorite, no one has to tell him it came out of a box, Shhhh.

I also slow cooked a roast which he loves. I wasn't able to make his favorite Mexican dish, Posole, which is what I usually make on his birthdays. But just did not feel up to it today. But I was able to pull off a cake and a meal and I'm so happy about that. I woke up feeling not so well, but pushed through to make this special for Hubby and the kids.

My hubby did not grow up celebrating birthdays where as my family always did. So I want to be sure to make every birthday memorable. He should definitely remember this one, he got an IPhone, I saved up for months. I gave it to him last week. I can't keep a secret to save my life.
Happy Birthday Honey, I love you with all my heart in the good times and the bad. Thanks for taking such good care of me.

Catching Up

2009-08-24T23:43:00.004-05:00

Ruben is going on his third week of Kindergarten. He has transitioned better than I thought he would. He loves school, his teacher, and has a lot of friends.
He is just learning so much so fast. I'm so proud of him. We wake him up but he gets himself dressed with no arguments. He also has his first soccer practice tomorrow.

Marissa misses her big brother like crazy. She starts at around 9 am asking if it is time to pick Ruben up and continues until we pick him up at 2:40.

I am doing better, they finally found a combination of meds that work. But I still have my bad days so I just try to enjoy the good ones that I am given. I volunteer at Roo's school two days a week, this lowers our tuition payment which is great right now with all my meds we have to pay for. And I'm finding I am loving it!

Jose turns 37 on Wed. of this week. I bought him an IPhone for his bd and gave it to him early. He loves that thing.

Mom is having some problems and has been very lethargic lately and talking crazy. I'm a little worried so we are going to see her doc as soon as we can.

Well that is all I can think of for now.

I will leave you with some recent pictures.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-08-19T04:30:00.001-05:00

Say it Ain't So, First Day of Kindergarten

2009-08-05T13:22:00.003-05:00

Today was the day. Ruben did great, I on the other hand was a mess.

Only one more hour to go before he gets out. I did not think it would be this hard or I would miss him this much. I think it's more knowing this is the beginning of many many years of him being gone all day and then college will sneak up on us just like Kindergarten has.

Not sure where those 5 years went, but they sure were not long enough for me.

Had to be bribed with a chocolate donut to get him out of bed. Whatever works, right? :)

Roo buckling his belt.

Being silly before leaving the house with his backpack on.

One last picture with Mommy.

Outside of the school.

Sitting at his table in his new classroom.

Cruisin and Preparing

2009-08-03T18:07:00.004-05:00

We found this Barbie battery powered 4 wheeler at a yard sale and Rissa can't quite get the steering right. She had quite a few accidents until I talked her in to letting her brother drive.

She is really going to miss him when he starts Kindergarten this Wed. I can't believe it's already that time. That's a completely different post that I'm not sure I'm even ready to write. I'm not sure where the last five years have went and I am definitely not ready to let go of him for a whole day just yet. It's been hard getting all his school supplies together and ready today. Just a part of motherhood I suppose, it's all about loving them and letting them go.

Flashback Friday

2009-07-23T23:34:00.003-05:00

Click here for a flashback video of Marissa's climbing skills a year ago.
She is just growing up way to fast and it's fun to look at her just a year ago and see how much she has grown, in size and attitude. :)

Western KY State Fair

2009-07-16T00:55:00.005-05:00

This was one of the only things that we do yearly with the kids that I was able to do this year. They had a blast. And there favorite ride was the worm, which I do not have pictures of but they rode it like 5 times. Also, Jose is not in any of the pictures. oops. Rissa also loved the animals.
You can click on the smaller pics to get a better look.

Rissa loved the Nemo Ride.

Ruben loved the car ride.

They both loved being in there with the rabbits.

Wordless Wednesday (Crazy Kids Edition)

2009-07-15T00:17:00.003-05:00

You're Gonna Miss This....Moment (Play Dates)

2009-07-10T22:09:00.018-05:00

It's time again to join Pam and reflect upon the moments you will miss the most since time seems to be moving at warp speed these days.

Roo was almost two years old and we were in the mall shopping. We stopped to sit and let Ruben run around and I saw these two adorable curly haired twin boys. The three boys instantly started playing and Jose and I started talking to their parents. Their mom was a red head so we bonded instantly. :) When we started to leave she wrote down her number so we could set up a play date for the boys. Josh and Jake are one month older that Ruben.
Since that meeting at the mall we have had many play dates. Marla brought the boys to the hospital when Marissa was born and I think they will forever refer to her as 'baby Rissa.'
My kids only have one cousin, he lives far away and they have never met him. They have grown up with Josh and Jake and Marla and I have grown closer over the years.

This year, Josh, Jake and Ruben will be going to kindergarten, unfortunately not the same one as we live in different counties, but we will no longer get to have play dates anytime we want during the week and I will certainly miss that.
Here are some moments captured through the years.

Taken in 2006

Taken a few weeks ago

2006

2009

2008

2009

Marla,Roo and Rissa making pizzas.

Silly kids

Red, White, & Blue

2009-07-06T01:19:00.003-05:00

Making CupCakes on the 4th

2009-07-05T10:44:00.005-05:00

Yes, we made them from a box, is there any other way? :)

We made the cupcakes while Rissa was sleeping, of course that was not done intentionally, what kind of mom would leave her daughter out of a family activity like making cupcakes? This is her with Nana after her nap, looking all sweet and innocent.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-01T00:13:00.004-05:00

You're Gonna Miss This Moment

2009-06-19T16:43:00.006-05:00

It's time again to join Pam and reflect upon the moments you will miss the most since time seems to be moving at warp speed these days.

I'm certainly going to miss the days of Roo and Rissa playing dress up and Roo 'protecting his sister' from imaginary 'bad guys.' They apparently get in our house from time to time and he has to turn in to a pirate and scare them away with his 'shooter', water gun minus the water, and a plastic clothes hanger. Oh, and I know I will miss the moments of them actually hugging each other, those are rare even now.

I will also miss getting all the kisses I want from my little pirate girl, I know that will not last much longer.

Head over to Pam's site for more Moments you don't want to miss.

Fun Fridays with Josh and Jake

2009-06-06T15:09:00.006-05:00

Marla and the boys came over last Friday, little late in posting I know. The kids had a blast as usual and I loved spending time with Marla. It was so nice just to sit and talk to a friend since I have not been able to get out of the house in quite a while.

Marla brought Marissa a bag or two or three of Winnie the Pooh things for her room and she loves them. I think she scored, one big tigger, a big Eeyore, a small Eeyore, a couple of small pooh bears and a ton of other things. Thanks Marla she loves them. And Roo got a Star Wars board game and a star wars t-shirt for his birthday.

Marla also gave me a beautiful scrap photo book she made of our Christmas cookie making extravagaza with the kids last christmas. She is so talented and I'm so lucky to have her as my friend and partner in figuring out how to raise rambuctious 5 year old boys.

I'm hoping they can come again soon, it certainly is the best kind of medicine for me right now.

Jake and Ruben playing a star wars video game in Roo's room.

Josh and Roo

Marla and Baby Rissa as the boys call her.

Jake posing after making it across with a little help from mom.

Josh posing after making it across the monkey bars.

Rissa being Rissa.

You're Gonna Miss This... Moment

2009-05-30T00:55:00.006-05:00

It's time again to join Pam and reflect upon the moments you will miss the most since time seems to be moving at warp speed these days.

So here is my moment, hang in there it's a little long but it's precious moment/moments to me.

I was six months pregnant with Roo when we bought his first gift.
I remember vividly the day we bought it at Toys R US. I spent at least 30 minutes digging through the bin to find the perfect stuffed animal. Jose was getting a bit frustrated and said it's just a stuffed animal and he will just be a baby does it really matter all that much? Well, it certainly did, although I guess he was somewhat right but for some reason I needed to pick the perfect one. After lots of searching and digging, I found him, a soft cuddly bear with a blue ribbon around his neck, perfect size, perfect in every way.

The bear was placed in his crib way before he was born and was waiting for him when he arrived home (I have pics of that but they are on a cd somewhere).

He liked the bear as a baby but around the age of one, he became incredibly attached to it. He named the bear Oso(Spanish for bear, very creative I know).

From the age of one on he would not sleep without the bear or leave the house without him. I can't tell you how many search party's we have had to send out to locate that bear so the child could go to sleep.

Five years later and he still can't sleep without him. Oso even has to ride to school with him although he's not allowed to take him in to school but he expects Oso to be in the car waiting right where he left him when he gets picked up from school.

So I have to say, I will miss seeing him dragging that bear around all the time and insisting he be in most of his photos, even the family photos including the family photo for the church directory(that pic is not scanned though). I know there will come a day when he will let go of Oso, or at least I'm hoping he doesn't drag him off to college :) And when that day comes I will miss seeing my little boy with the bear he holds so dear to his little heart.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-05-27T08:00:00.001-05:00

What Happens When Rissa Sneaks the Scissors for 2 Seconds

2009-05-23T21:20:00.006-05:00

Last Sunday Jose cut Ruben's hair. I usually do it but was in bed so he did. Every time I cut Roo's I go ahead and trim little Miss Priss's hair too, just the bangs the rest has never been cut.
Well, Daddy told her no so the next day I'm in bed but Deana is watching the kids. I hear Rissa talking to Deana and one minute later I hear Deana get up from her chair and say "Oh my God, what have you done." Deana just kept repeating 'Oh my God.'

So I knew it was bad, I dragged myself out of bed (it had been a bad day) and went into the kitchen. I see this pile of hair on the floor. It took my brain a minute to realize what she had actually done. Then I just did not want to look at her. I didn't get a picture of the hair in the floor because Deana quickly swept it up, I guess getting rid of the evidence for Miss Priss. But it was a lot of hair, I just knew she had cut all her hair off.

I finally went and found her and saw that she had scalped the front. I'm just thankful that she didn't cut skin or her eyes as as close as she got.
After the shock wore off, Jose and I went in our room and threw ourselves on the bed and laughed until we cried. I told Jose next time the child asks for a hair cut he needs to give her one.

Oh and the next day Marissa and I were in the bathroom and she was looking in the mirror. I said look what you did to your hair, her response was, "But mom look at my pretty lips." I had to say yes baby you have pretty lips and gorgeous hair. :)

BEFORE

AFTER

Celebrating Mother's Day and a Birthday

2009-05-11T01:10:00.003-05:00

We had quite the festivities today. I turned 33 and got to celebrate being a mother to two of the most amazing kids I know.

Here is Nana with the kids after opening her present.

Here they are with MawMaw, after she opened her presents.

Roo and Jose made me my favorite yellow cake with chocolate icing.

And delivered it to me in bed where I rested most of the day.
They did not have candles so they improvised with candy hearts.

Glimpes from Roo's Birthday Party, Without Me :(

2009-04-30T12:42:00.004-05:00

Our neighbor made green cupcakes for Roo, his favorite color of course.

This year he dressed up as a Storm Trooper

This is Ruben's teacher, they threw him a party at school.

When I get better, I plan on throwing him the party we originally planned, with the red light saber cake he requested. He would not let anyone else try to make a light saber cake, he said, "only my mom knows how to do that because she did it last year."

I feel tired today and still having a hard time getting around, the walker is my friend for now as is my new phone with internet access Jose got me as an early birthday present after my phone took a spin in the washing machine. Hoping and praying tomorrow will be better.

This Sucks

2009-04-27T21:26:00.001-05:00

April 27, 2009
This Sucks

First let me get this out of the way,
Yes I know it could be worse and at least I can walk, even if it is just to the bathroom with a walker and I am thankful for that truly I am.

But it still sucks.

I can't take care of my kids, I have to ask someone to bring me food, water or whatever I need at the time. My independent side is really having a hard time with all of this right now.

And it sucks.

I'm thankful the tremors have stopped and I can actually feed myself with my right hand, but it still sucks.

I can't dress or feed my kids and it sucks.

I try to sit up in the wheel chair and roll around the house but the pain becomes unbearable and it sucks.

I received my first hospital bill for $8,000, just for the two ER visits and one night in the hospital (before I was transferred to Nashville) I don't have insurance and it sucks.

The bill from Saint Thomas will probably be around $60,000 or more and that sucks too.

I still have a peace about all of this, it's just hard to focus on that when there are so many things that suck right now.

But I'm home with my kids.

I'm eating for the first time in a week, real food, so much for all the weight I have lost. Which the doctors seem to think was a side effect from my condition (a condition that no one seems to have an exact name for as of yet).

The weight loss factor is one of the things that doesn't really suck though.

Oh and I have my phone that has Internet access which is awesome when you are in bed, however it takes forever and nothing is spelled right but who cares in the grand scheme of things.

Your comments and emails have meant more than I can ever express. The highlight of my day, other than cuddling with my kids, is checking my blog and email.

Thank you all and maybe just maybe things won't be as sucky tomorrow.

God Bless

My Point of View

2009-04-27T21:25:00.001-05:00

Sunday, April 26, 2009
From My Point of View

I will keep this short and sweet, because I have not yet masted the art of typing on my very small new phone.I don't know what your guys know because I haven't been able to read the updates.

So here is my version, as some of you may already know I have been experiencing symptoms of tinging and numbness in my hands and fee for quite a while. This goes as far back as when Marissa was born, two years ago.

I thought it was nothing and it never lasted longed than 3 days. And of course, I do not have insurance so seeing a doctor was pretty much out of the question.

Friday and Sat. I did not feel very week, but I made myself just push through it because really what can you do.

I took Roo to his soccer game last sat morning but upon arriving home I could barley walk and had to resort to using my mom's walked just to get around. I was totally against going to the ER, no insurance and we are just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and build back our credit and such.

Sunday morning was one of the scariest times in my life. I couldn't feel my legs,they felt heavy and I could feel pressure but could not pick them up off the bed and when I stood I could see that they were on the floor but could not feel the floor beneath me. I finally let Hubby take me to the ER and they did not find anythinhg wrong. I honestly was beginning to think it was all in my head and wondered if maybe I should be committed, no I'm not joking here.

Sunday night, I started having muscle spasms that I could not control. My arms and legs just started moving on there own. I won't lie, I was terrified. I also felt like someone had given me an epidural. My legs were so very heave. So Hubby called the ambulance at 10 Sunday night. They admitted me and I saw a neurologist on Monday. He examined me and said there was something wrong. Without even discussion the results he had me transferred by ambulance at around1 1 pm Monday night. All I knew was that he said there was a spinal compression. So he sent me to a neurosurgeon in Nashville.
They did a gazillion tests, very painful and admitted me to the Nero ICU. All he found on the tests was a degenerative disk, that apparently has been causing a lot of my back pain. But did not account for the numbness and shaking. Oh did I mention by this time my right side would shake uncontrollable. That was so frustrating, I kept telling it to spot but to no avail So they finally brought in a neurologist. He told me what I needed to hear.

He said he could not prove it with a test but there was something really wrong with me. When he walked out the door I burst into tears. That is all I wanted to hear, that there was indeed a problem and it wasn't in my head. I guess felt validated after all these years living in pain someone finally told me it was real and not in my head.

He told me that the tremors on my Right side has mostly do with my car accident many years ago.
because my right side was the part that was busted up so badly in the accident.
So the plan is to treat it with Medicine, which has already started to control the tremors. I just have to build my strength up and get off that darn walker.

I do know that I have to take it easy. I have a lot of pain, and feel dizzy when getting up. But I'm determined. I just have to approach this like I did 17 years ago when I had to learn how to walk again after my car accident.

I have so much more to share, things God showed me and taught me through all of this but I'm tired so I will end here.

You will never ever know what your comments, prayers, and thoughts have meant to my family.
Oh and if there is anyway to put me on a prayer list on your Church, your friends or even you blog if you so desire, please do.

It's really hard on my husband having to do it all and this has taken a lot out of him and also my aunt having to take care of my mom and the kids.

My prayer requests:
*That I will get that medical card and the phone interview will go great on Tuesday. But honestly I've turned that over to God, if I get it great, if not I know God will handle it. He has given me a peace that surpasses all understanding throughout all of this. Don't get me wrong, I have yelled and cried and asked why, Because personally I think I have been through quite enough in my 32 years. But I'm not promised tomorrow or the use of my legs or even to spend another birthday with my children. All I know is He has gathered me in his arms through all of this, held me and given me a peace I can't explain.

*Please pray for my mom and my whole family, I know this is tough on them.

* And lastly, please pray for my 3 month old neice. You can find out more about that here
Well hope this makes sense. It's taken forever to type if on my phone, and if it doesn't go through well I just may have a temper tantrum, but God understands

Last Week, Wild Ride

2009-04-27T21:15:00.004-05:00

A lot has happened since Easter, here are some excerpts from Kiesha's personal blog to get you all caught up.

From her friend Jenn
Kiesha needs our prayers

This a friend of Kiesha's posting this message for her. April 20th

Kiesha called me earlier to ask that I post this for her. She has had some concerning medical issues (a spinal cord compression) that has caused her to need immediate treatment at a hospital in Nashville.
She's obviously very scared because the compression has caused her to loose feeling and control of her legs. And she's very worried because of the financial implications this may cause. Lastly, she's very upset because her little boy's birthday is on Thursday and she's not sure if she will be home for it.

Please send up some prayers for her now. Pray for an easy healing, and strength and comfort from the Lord to get her through this scary time. Also pray for the caretakers that are with her children. She's the most concerned about them right now.

Kiesha, we are thinking of you!!! (((HUGS))) and prayers!!!!

(she said she would inform me as she knows more, and I will share what I can when I can).

Getting Specific April 21st

(Posted by Kiesha's friend, JennH)

Unfortunately there's not a lot to update still on what is going on with Kiesha. Her husband told me that the doctors didn't think the spinal compression was the cause of her issues, and they were going to due a CT of her brain to see if they found something there. But, after speaking to Kiesha's mom today, she said all the tests are still not revealing a true reason that this is happening to her.

She is still at St. Thomas hospital in Nashville, and she is still not able to use her legs. They have put her in a wheelchair for now, and still plan to do more testing to find out what's going on, but their best guess for now is that it is something related to the car wreck she was in as a teenager.

She's just in this frustrating place where she's presented with these terrifying symptoms, but no answers to help guide her to help.

Anyway, there are a few things that Kiesha requested specific prayer for.

One is that her doctors think that because of her condition that she may qualify for a medical card that would provide health coverage for the things she will definitely need (such as home healthcare, prescriptions, and such.) So, this would obviously be a huge blessing for them and another huge weight off of her mind!!! We definitely need to pray that this comes through for them!!

The other thing is we need to pray that she does regain control of her legs. I can't even imagine how terrifying it must be to be so young and lose the ability to walk. She's got two small kids (5 and 2 yrs old) that definitely keep her on the move. And I know that she wants to be able to move right along with them. I know that no matter what happens, Kiesha will find a way to do what needs to be done. She's one of the toughest people I know, and things like this seem to just make her stronger. But, I don't want her to have to go through that. She needs her legs, Lord, and I pray that You will completely heal them for her.

Thanks for the prayers that you all have already given for her, and just continue to lift her up. She needs to be wrapped in the Lord's comfort more than ever right now.

P.S. HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY RUBEN!!!! Mommy would definitely be there for you today if she could!!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009
Hospital Update 1

Kiesha is okay. All scans of spine & head came negative in turning up a culprit for the tremors, numbness, & weakness in arms & legs. Neurologist thinks problem is related to old accident injuries.
He's prescribed muscle relaxers & physical therapy to help her relax, regain strength, and begin to walk again.

We appreciate everyone's prayers & support.

Kee will walk again. If for no other reason than she has to in order to leave the hospital. :-)

Ruben had a good birthday celebration all day long, starting with his preschool and ending at home with "Da Girls".

I'll continue to keep all posted on the latest with Kee now that I have her new Samsung Eternity phone with unlimited internet. Woohooo!!

Yours truly,
Jose

Friday, April 24, 2009
Going Home

Through sheer determination, if not hard-headedness, Kiesha has asked to be discharged to go home.
I am picking up her meds. She will likely see the neuro doc on an outpatient basis and we will go from there.

Jose

Saturday, April 25, 2009
Kiesha Having a Restful Day

Kiesha has been home now for close to 22 hours and she is doing better. She is eating more, walking more, sleeping more, and relaxing more. She is still dealing with a headache, her neck pain, and back pain but the only prescription right now is rest and muscle relaxers. I have bought Kiesha a therapeutic foam contoured pillow hoping that helps with the next pain. I bought some therapeutic heat pads to put on her neck and alternate with a cold compress.

I know that she wants to catch up with everyone out there in "Blogger"land and cyberspace. So in order to make sure she doesn't over do it, I saved all her favorite blogs on her phone so that she can go online while still in bed resting. She's getting the hang of her new phone and I think she likes it a lot.

All Kiesha wanted over the past 72 hours was to go home. I can tell you now that it is good to be home. Nothing beats home. When all of us feel ill, tired, awful, stressed, and any number of other uncomfortable situations we always just want to go home. I know that home is often times a place but for everyone it is always a feeling - a feeling of comfort, a feeling of love, a feeling of belonging, a feeling of relief, or a feeling of purpose. Home is always a place you can turn to and it is always a place of healing. I hope you all have a "home".

A word to all you mommies out there - please take a lesson from Kiesha and do not try to be super mommies or caregivers. Always pray for love, patience, strength, and fortitude then listen to how God responds. First and foremost listen to what God tells you through your own body. When your body aches it is your body and, more importantly, God telling you to slow down and rest. Pray to Jesus for healing but then ask others for help. No doubt God has placed a loving hubby, friend, sister, brother, or neighbor in your life that is able to help and will do so. Talk to them and ask for help.

If you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, take it from me it is not, but do take that as a message from God to step back and reassess what is happening in your life. Often times stress, pain, frustration, and confusion isoloates you and blocks you from feeling God's love. You can open yourself to God's love but you can also block out God's love and care. God creates life through a family, but your family is greater than your spouse and your kids. The family you have in place is how God immediately and concretely graces you with His love and care for you. The more you reach out and surround yourself with these persons the more you'll feel God's love. The less you reach out to these folks and carry on more than your share of work, problems, etc, the less you'll feel God's love.

A perfect example is all of you here in "Blogger"land. I know Jenn but other than that I do not know a single one of you but I know you are family for Kiesha. She reached out to you and you responded with your prayers to comfort both of us. As I have said previously your prayers, lifted her up emotionally, spiritually, and physically. She definitely felt God's love through you, through our church family in Hopkinsville, through my co-workers, and through our neighbors.

I am glad Kiesha is home. I wish she felt 100% better. I pray for healing more than anything but I know it is out of my hands. I do not know God's plan but I do not worry about not knowing -- what shall be His will shall be His will. I trust that He will cradle my family in His arms, like we cradle our children. I pray for fortitude and the love I need to care for Kiesha and my family. I pray for peace to not worry about things that I cannot control. I pray for peace so that I may not worry about how we will pay for all her medical costs, but pray for faith and trust in God - that God will not provide us with a burden that we cannot carry.

This may be my last post on Kiesha's blog since this takes time away from caring for my kids, Kiesha, and mother-in-law. So in my parting words I thank you all for your intercessary prayers because God listens to the prayers of the righteous. I will ask that you continue to pray. If you are Catholic, or even if you are not Catholic but believe those in Christ are alive in heaven, then pray and ask Mother Teresa that she ask Jesus to care for Kiesha the same way she cared for the sick and poor of Calcutta. Pray and ask our Mother Mary that she may ask her son to heal Kiesha back to health. What son refuses his mother? :-)

May God bless you this day and forever.
Yours truly,
Jose Quinonez

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T15:08:00.005-05:00

All dressed up and ready for Easter Mass

Coloring eggs with Dad and MaMaw

Coloring eggs with Mommy

Goofy Family Photo

Let the hunt begin.

In bed with Nana and all their loot.

Coach Q

2009-04-11T11:30:00.005-05:00

Roo is playing spring soccer and has a new Assistant Coach, Coach Q. HHMMMM.....I wonder who that could be. If you can't figure it out here are some pics to help.

Also, just thought I would mention Roo did an awesome job today. He scored 3 goals, but even more important he was a great team player. I'm so proud of my little guy.

Sunday Pictures

2009-04-06T17:44:00.003-05:00

Surprisingly, we all got up and made it to Mass on time, and was able to snap a few pictures before we went.

Your Gonna Miss This...Moment

2009-04-03T20:45:00.006-05:00

Watching my little guy and his dad fly a Star Wars kite while he (Ruben) is dressed up as Darth Vader in our backyard is definitely on my list of things I will miss.
I thought the Star Wars thing was a phase but we are going on two years now and he wears that Vader outfit almost daily.

Head over to Pam's site for more Moments you don't want to miss.

Quick Visit with My Friend Jen

2009-04-01T18:30:00.009-05:00

Jennifer and I met on an online moms forum when Ruben was a baby. We live 5 hours from each other and first met about 2 years ago. This was our second meeting and my first time meeting her adorable, sweet, perfect new baby Carter, well he's not brand new but to me he is.

She has two other little guys Jared and Alex. I can't believe how fast they are growing. I can't wait until we can get together again and hopefully it will be sooner and for longer this time.

Jen is awesome and I don't know how I would have made it without her these last few years, we have spent many many hours on the phone as our children have went from newborns to toddlers to starting school.
They were traveling to see her grandmother and stop here so we could have a quick visit.

I could have held Carter all day, good thing they don't live close because I probably would :)

Even Jose had to get his hands on this adorable little guy.

I love this one, Jared was probably thinking, "what the heck happened to Ruben's hair?"

Pictures from Sierra's Sweet Sixteen

2009-03-22T09:00:00.004-05:00

I will post more about it later, but here are some of my favorite pictures. I have many many more. She begged me to bring the kids to her sweet sixteen black and white ball, now what 16 yr old would want a 2 and 4 yr old at their dance. Sierra is the only one I know, wow I can't believe she is 16. I think I cried as much as Sarah did last night.

The kids had a blast and Ruben danced his little butt off. :)
More Pics to come.

Lawn Mowers & Good Neighbors

2009-03-19T11:29:00.004-05:00

Life is good around here. We call Mom and DD's part of the house Chippewa Assisted Living, they prefer Chippewa Manor :)
Things are busy busy busy. Roo has started spring soccer and so we will have an even hectic schedule than we do now. My calender is definitely coming in handy.

God definitely put us in this house. We have the best neighbors anyone could ever ask for. We have one sweet lady who brings over fried chicken and for mom's birthday made her a pineapple upside down cake, mom's favorite.

The neighbors right beside them let me use their riding lawn mower yesterday.

I went over and asked him to use it and then preceded to let him know I had only used one once and asked him simple questions such as where is the break, gas, clutch and yet he still let me have his John Deer mower. Now what man would let a woman run off with their John Deer unsupervised.

God given neighbors I tell ya.

Oh and just in case you are wondering, I mowed the front and back lawn without incident.

Have a great Thursday!

Oh How I Love This Little One

2009-03-16T23:05:00.002-05:00

Your Gonna Miss This....Moment

2009-03-13T22:47:00.004-05:00

Surely by now everyone has heard of this blog carnival but if not click on over to Pam's site and learn what it's all about.

I will miss this moment so very much. Kids grow so fast and at some point they no longer want to climb in bed with their Nana or help take care of her. But for now both my kids love helping to care for my mom. And I love this picture. Marissa always rubs her face and asks her if she is feeling OK and if she can get her anything. Coming from a two year old I think that is remarkable. Or maybe it's just because it's my two year old. :)

Creating New Personal Blog

2009-03-12T23:43:00.004-05:00

After posting about our marriage and getting a lot of questions from family that practically had us on the road to seperation. It's amazing how fast something can spread and how much of the truth gets lost, I have decided to create another blog.

It will not be linked here. I have been thinking of doing this for a while, creating a blog where I can tell my story, give my testimony and just be completely open and honest.

I created it tonight but it will be a while before it is up and running. If you would like the address just comment on this post and leave your email address and I will be sure to send you the link or you can email me at Quinonezfamily@charter.net. We have been having some problems with that email though.

Warning though, I'm planning on holding nothing back. Which is not soemthing I have ever done before. I've never been honest with myself about so much that has happened in my life. Of course there will be a few subjects off limits, I won't go into a lot of detail about what goes on in my marriage simply because I think it would unfair to him.

I so admire those who can put themselves out there and be transparent. That's what I hope to do with this new blog, and I believe in doing that I will learn a lot about myself and at 32 I think it's about time.

Great Blog With Great Chances to Win Great Prizes

2009-03-11T15:13:00.003-05:00

I have been meaning to post about this blog that is having several giveaways but this week I have had so much on my mind I didn't get around to it. So today when I visited the blog again I saw that Pam was doing her 4th giveaway. She has a great blog and she is an inspiration to me because she is a single mother of six and I struggle being a married mother of two. So check out her blog, it's the same blog that does the

Marriage, It Ain't Always a Fairy Tale

2009-03-10T11:12:00.006-05:00

Update:
Right after I wrote this post, I checked the mail and the book had arrived. And then our pastor called to cancel our appointment because some emergency came up. I'm not sure if this is a sign that we should just read the book and not talk with our pastor. I just don't know. But I had taken all day to gear myself up to go talk to someone about my marriage and now it's not happening. I'm a little let down and confused as to what to do now.

I will give you fair warning this will not be a happy post. And I don't think all posts should be that way, you can read more about that here.

Today has been hard. I woke up to a screaming two year old, tried to clean the bathroom as much as I could, threw in a load of laundry, made breakfast for mom and Marissa and then helped the Home Health nurse with Mom's bath, which totally wears me out. I love my mom dearly, there are just some days where taking care of a 4 yr old, 2 year old, hubby, aunt and my, for the most part, bed bound mom just gets to be overwhelming at times.

I think what is at the bottom of all of this is that tonight Jose and I are going to our Pastor for marriage counseling, it may be one session or turn out to be several.

I was hesitant, and still am a little, to post that because his family reads this blog but I think it is important for me not to portray a happy little marriage and happy little life on our blog.

Like I said in the post I linked to above, I think it's dangerous to give people the impression that you have a perfect life and/or perfect marriage. It makes them feel even worse if they are going through trials in their own marriage or in their lives.

They need to know they are normal and every marriage no matter how it may look from the outside, has it's problems and challenges. We have a good marriage and have built our marriage on a solid foundation but if you don't spend time working on your marriage on a regular basis it can fall apart before you even realize it.

Because even when you are totally in love with each other, go to counseling before getting married, try to fight fair, try to put God at the center of your marriage, even with all of those things marriage is HARD.
Then you throw in kids and in laws living with you, stress at work or whatever situations you may face in your own marriage and it becomes all the more challenging to put the time and effort into your relationship. It can all build up and if the communication is not there the results can be bad and really damage your marriage.

There hasn't been any major damage to our marriage yet but we decided, well I think it was my idea, to go and talk to our Pastor. I want to deal with problems as they come up and not let them fester and cause damage in our relationship.

The thing is, I thought our marriage was going great, I guess I had my head in the clouds and wasn't paying attention to him, I don't feel like I have had a lot of time lately to pay attention to anything, and it doesn't help that it's not easy for him to show or talk about his feelings.

He is a great husband and father but there are things in our lives we all struggle with. I'm struggling with things right now, fighting personal demons and he has been too.

It's just been a really stressful time in our lives and I was too distracted and not focusing on my marriage and what the stress in our lives was doing to it.

We ordered the book Sacred Marriage which I learned about from MckMama.
It has not come in yet but I can't wait to get started reading it together.

I'm not looking forward to talking to our Pastor tonight about our marriage, and if I'm totally honest I have came up with three excuses why tonight is not a good night to go.

But I know that I am doing a disservice to my kids, my husband and myself not to mention not following what God put in my heart to do, if we don't go.

So we will go and I know we will work this out, because there is no other option and really in the bigger scheme of things it's not that big of a problem because hopefully we have caught it in time. Just pray that our meeting tonight goes well and we are able to get the guidance we need to get our marriage back on track.

Will I Ever Learn to Leave My Red Hair Alone???

2009-03-09T16:55:00.007-05:00

I have never used the particular color or brand I used yesterday but I have colored my hair twice, ok we're not counting the time I dyed it purple during my punk phase, both times came out ok and I got the results I wanted. One time it was lighter strawberry blond and the other time was after that when I wanted more of my natural bright red back.

This is the box I bought, it had the color and separate highlights. Basically my naturally color just a bit brighter and with highlights.

This is before.

This is the result I got, well not exactly I didn't take pictures of the result I got from this color because I was too traumatized. It was dark really really dark. So this morning I went and bought a strawberry blond dye and put it on my hair. And this is my results.

It's still way too dark and I'm not happy at all. Just ask the people I live with. I have not been easy to deal with today. I know, I know it's just hair color and I will get over it. It's not even really about the hair color, I'm just frustrated because of the reason I started this whole process, the cut and color in the first place. That's a whole 'nother post for a later time.

I will probably go get a blond and put on it in a couple of days. But for now, this is me and it's just hair.

A Breath of Fresh Air

2009-03-08T19:20:00.003-05:00

We got mom into her wheel chair and outside. This is the first time she has been outside for a walk in her wheel chair in over a year. I basically had to tell her I was getting her up into the recliner, then when I had her in the lift I told her that actually we were going outside. She didn't get too mad at me.

She needed the fresh air and just to get out of the house. I was so happy and emotional I didn't know if I wanted to cry or do a jig. So I did both. :)

God is amazing. I found a cab/van service which is run by an awesome lady and who after hearing mom's story said she would come on the weekends when they are closed so that mom can go to church or to walmart, out to eat or wherever she wants to go.

Mom's birthday is Tuesday and I told the lady she had not been out to a restaurant in almost 2 years, so this coming Sat the woman is sending her driver to come pick us up and take us wherever mom wants to go. I'm crying as I'm typing this because I am so very happy for her and the Lord never ceases to amaze me. He never fails me even when I fail Him what seems like lately everyday.

Mom had accepted that she would always live like this, in bed, only getting out to go to the doctor.

I have never accepted that and I remind her daily of what the doctors told me when I had my car accident. They said I would never walk again and if I had accepted that then I would never have walked again.

But I believed then as I do now that God can do all things, and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So I'm having her recite that verse everyday.

Anyway this post turned out a lot longer than planned. I was just going to post the pictures from yesterday.

Don't ask what Roo was wearing it was his own creation :)

r

Your Gonna Miss This.....Moment

2009-03-07T18:49:00.005-06:00

This is my second time participating in the blog carnival Your Gonna Miss This. I loved this idea and this blog when I came across it a few weeks ago.

I am constantly thinking about the moments I will miss when my kids are grown or if our life were to change suddenly as I know that it can in a matter of seconds. I know first hand how just a few seconds can change your life forever and I try to live in the moment and enjoy every moment I have with my family and friends.

I am going to miss my kids wanting to have their friends over to do fun art projects with mom that just consist of finger paint and poster board.

I'm going to miss them sitting at their little table with the tiny little chairs calling me over to tell them that I have never seen a painting more beautiful, and I mean that with all my heart. There little innocent paintings are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I want to save everyone but know that is impossible.

Fill In Fridays

2009-03-06T13:56:00.005-06:00

I thought I would use that title for Fridays because it doesn't seem like I will be able to blog everyday, so I will make sure to catch you all up on Fridays. So this post will contain and little of this and a little of that.

First off, what does a woman do when she feels like she has no control over ANYTHING?

Cut and/or dye her hair of course. And redecorate the house. At least that is what I do!

So I found a card in my wallet from a woman I met at the pumpkin patch in Oct. and decided why not. It's really hard for me to find someone to cut my hair because it's so curly and the only one I trust is my friend Sarah who lives and works 45 min away and this was a spare of the moment kind of thing. I would have changed my mind in the time it took me to drive there.

Anyway on to the big reveal.

But let's review the before first. Focus on the hair, not the smile :)

After

Side

Back

One minute I love it and the next not so much. But it's so much easier to take care of and I needed a change.

My friend and I are going to do a dye job on me on Sunday, so check back for pictures. I'm not sure what color, probably some type of streaks/highlights.

__________________________________________________________________

Things are going ok around here. We are having to teach the grandmothers how to discipline because since they are living here they can no longer let the kids get away with everything and feed them candy all day long.

It's going to take lot's of patience on my part and redirecting, and I'm not referring to the kids on the redirecting. We will get there, or so I keep telling myself that.

I ordered a calender that came in the mail today to help keep me organized. I have 5 people's schedules to now keep up with. So I thought a calender where each family member had their on line would come in handy. I thought I was ordering the one that has 7 lines(mom's plan it plus) but this one only has 5. That will take care of the kids, Jose, mom and DD. Me, the cat and Toby will have to do without.

It has a pocket to put things in and a magnetic hanger and over 400 stickers. So if this can't keep me organized I might as well give up already.

__________________________________________________________________

I had so much more to Fill you in on today but Marissa believes I have had quite enough computer time because she is standing here with a thousand things that I just have to look at.

Hopefully I will get a chance to post this weekend and I have lots of pictures to share.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Checking In

2009-03-04T13:51:00.003-06:00

I just realized it had been a week since i had posted anything.

We FINALLY have everything out of mom and D's house and have turned the keys over.

That was such a weight lifted, it only took 11 trips to Good will with the car packed full, the largest U haul they have packed full, many trips here with the car packed full and three truck loads of stuff we gave to a guy kind enough to finish cleaning the house out for us.

But we are DONE! Thank you God, because I was beginning to believe we would be cleaning that house out forever and beginning to question whether or not someone was coming and dropping truck loads of stuff off after we left.

Now comes the job of getting our house together, so that 6 people can live comfortable in it without getting on each others nerves.

We have given mom and D our big family room and we are now using our small entry way/living room as our family room. I went into decorating mode and had to get everything done in our new family room yesterday.

I just needed pictures and curtains to be hung so that i could feel comfortable in here. We had not yet made it to this room as far as decorating goes. We moved into this house in August of last year and the only rooms that have been fully decorated was the kitchen and Marissa's room.

I bought a gazillion baskets, because clutter is bad for my mental health, so shoving it all into pretty little baskets that have lids makes me better and able to deal with it all.

I got mom into the recliner on Sat all by myself using the lift. It was the first time she has been in a recliner in over a year.
The weather is nice today so I'm am going to try and talk her into letting me wheel her outside for a walk.

This post may make no sense because I have been so very exhausted but I know that after we get everything situated and get on a schedule that life will be more enjoyable and less exhausting.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-25T10:39:00.003-06:00

The Following Was Done For Safety Reasons Only

2009-02-24T23:45:00.007-06:00

We rented a U haul on Sat and drove 45 min to moms to load up all of the stuff they are keeping so that we could bring it back here and put it in storage. The good Lord blessed us with the help of several volunteers from the Knights of Columbus from our church.

They were awesome.

It was pouring down rain and these men were moving heavy objects which included a piano and a huge refrigerator. The most amazing part....they had smiles on their faces the whole time. I was blown away and saw God in each of their smiles.

It was an exhausting day and we still do not have their house cleared, everything else is going to be sold, donated, or trashed. And we have until Sat. to do this. Good thing stressed is desserts spelled backwards because that is what I have been doing :)

Anyway, on to the pictures. We have gotten mom and DD moved into our family room. Mom's therapist thought it would be good to have a chair beside mom's bed so we could use the lift and have her sit up during the day. She has not sat in a recliner in over a year.

Well before we could do that we had to make sure it could be done safely so Jose and I ~~were bored and wanted to be entertained~~ agreed to get in the lift to determine the best way to get mom into the chair.

And just in case Marissa ever decided to jump in Nana's lap while she was in the lift we had to make sure that it would be safe.
I can assure you we were not monkeying around and had absolutely no fun ~~playing with~~ testing mom's lift to ensure her safety.

Up Up and Away

2009-02-18T23:53:00.010-06:00

Mom's Hoyer lift arrived two days after we got her here in our home. We have only used it a few times with home health supervision but today Deana and I did it on our own.

We transferred her safely from the bed into the lift and then into her wheel chair. We used the big chair which unfortunately will not fit through our doorways, not even the front door, and it doesn't even fit the portable ramps we have outside. But it's more comfortable for her so I thought we should get her used to sitting up before we try the smaller wheelchair, which is the one she will have to ride in to her doctor's appointment in one week.

We did however open the door and let her look out at the real world and get some fresh air. She said it was awesome.

And we snapped some goofy family pictures while we were at it.

Good thing she does not have access to the computer at this time because I would be in a heep of trouble for posting that first picture....so sshhhhh.

I've Learned So Much From Him

2009-02-15T22:33:00.002-06:00

I knew from the start, way before we were even married, that my husband was an honorable and compassionate man. I, however, did not know the extent of his honor, forgivness, compassion and patience.

Every day, every month, every year I see it more and more. I see his honor when he refuses to use his job title for any personal gain.

I see his faith every time I panic and worry, he stays calm and reassuring.

I see his patience when I snap at him and he does not snap back even when he has more than enough reason to.

I could go on and on but I will get to the point of this post.

I have now seen his forgiveness and compassion displayed in ways I never thought possible.

When we had to get my mom and aunt out of their house because of the ice storm and they had no heat, it was never a question that they would stay here until it was safe for them to return home.

Then my aunt had to spend a few days in the hospital and we realized that she is no longer capable of taking care of my mom on her own. So Jose told them they should move to our town and they could stay with us until they found a place. We talked about it beforehand but I never thought he would be totally open to the idea.

When they were worried how they would ever get all of their stuff out, he did not hesitate to tell them that we would do it.

Jose and I spent Valentine's Day at their house packing and sorting through their stuff. They have rooms that you can't even walk in. It is quite a daunting task.

Deana and Jose spent today there because I overdone it yesterday and needed to rest. On the way home Deana said that Jose told her that they should stay with us for at least a year to save money and get on back on their feet.

Not flinching when the subject of your mother-in-law moving in comes up takes a pretty terrific man.

But there's more.

I won't go into too much detail because it is in the past and we have moved on. But when Jose, Ruben, and I moved from CA to KY, we moved in with mom and Deana. It did not last long and we basically were threw out with no where to go and a 16 month old. There was blame on both sides but kicking us out with a baby and no place to go was something I thought would be one of the few unforgivable acts someone could do. And if it wasn't totally unforgivable it certainly is something that would not prompt you to open your home to them when they needed it.

He has done both, forgiven them and opened our home to them.

Jose has taught me how to forgive and he's taught me there is nothing that is unforgivable.

He continues to teach me how to live, laugh and love, how to be a better parent, daughter, wife, friend, and Christian.

I'm so thankful I know this man and even more thankful that this man is my husband.

Closer to God, One Step at a TIme in 2009

2009-02-13T22:19:00.008-06:00

I came across BibleSEO and found this great article How to Do Quiet Time - Time Alone with God.

It kind of goes along with this post that I wrote at the beginning of Jan. I didn't mention too much about what I wanted my relationship with God to be but it is one of the relationships I want to work on this year. Sometimes I feel like I just don't have time to pray or spend a lot of time with God so I just don't. Terrible I know but I'm being honest here.

So I found this article and thought it was something that was definitely doable for me. Baby steps Kiesha, always baby steps to start out with no matter what behavior you are trying to change or create.

It's a short and to the point article which it had to be to keep my attention.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did and I will let you know how it goes. I'm sure most of you already do this but there has to be others out there like me, or at least I find comfort in telling myself that. :)

How to Do Quiet Time - Time Alone with God.

Quiet time is one of the most essential aspects of your Christian life. Many Christians take some time reading the bible everyday. While it is very useful, just reading the bible will not lead you to much fuller Christian walk with Christ. You need to spend time in his words, study and learn from it everyday. Without daily regular quiet time, our spiritual life can be seriously malnourished just as our body can be malnutritioned without proper food and water! I often wonder when people talk about forgetting to do their quiet time due to busy schedule; I have never found anybody who forgot to eat for a day due to work!

Here I am presenting simple steps to do your daily quiet time. While you don’t have to follow it exactly, it can serve as a guide.

Time: You can take about 10-15 minutes for quiet time. You can choose time according to you schedule. For some, morning works better, for others, night may work well. While, I recommend the morning time as you are much calmer and fresh, any time can work fine. It is also important to set fixed time everyday, as it brings discipline and consistency.

What do you need?
Your bible, note and pen. You can occasionally refer to bible commentary or dictionary for difficult passages of bible. But I would recommend studying bible as it is and ask God for his guidance to understand the passage. It is a very good practice to take notes in your quiet time. You will be amazed when you will see your quiet time notes years later!

How To do Quiet Time?

■Start with prayer:
■Spend just few minutes in worship and thanksgiving.
■Spend some time in asking God for forgiveness for our sins.
■Ask for his guidance in today’s quiet time
■Passage for Quiet time: It is good to select any book of bible and read it continuously. It will help you to get the whole picture and can enjoy your quiet time more. Select about 8-10 verses, don’t select whole chapter, as you may not be able to cover it all. Select small paragraph according to passage.
■Read the paragraph for 2-3 times. This method is also called ASPECT method.
■A – About God – What can you learn about God through this passage?
■S – Sin – Does it talk about any sin?
■P – Promise – Is there any promise in the word?
■E – Example – Is there any example, I can follow?
■C –Command – Which command I need to obey?
■T – Teaching – What can I learn from this passage?
■Concluding Prayer:
■Thank God for his guidance in quiet time
■Worship God for his characteristic
■Pray for deliverance from any sin
■Ask for strength for the day.

Alright Already!!!

2009-02-12T01:34:00.003-06:00

My dear sweet husband has had it with my new look every two days thing I have had going on here lately.

Well, I had finally found one that I loved and was satisfied with. I was at peace with my blog design decision, UNTIL I found a website that showed me how to use a three column template on your blog. I had been trying to figure this out forever.

With two columns on my blog it just looked too bunched up. So I followed the step by step instructions and to my utter surprise it worked the first time.

So now I had three columns, what I did not have was a layout that worked with the three columns. Hadn't thought about it not being compatible, but evidently you can only have three columns with layouts made specifically for three column formats.

So I had to change the layout I loved and spent hours making a header that would fit this blog layout perfectly. I still have to make some minor adjustments, but don't worry there will be no big changes for a very very long time or Jose will change passwords on me and take away my editing abilities. :)

Deana got out of the hospital this afternoon and is feeling better but now comes the daunting task of packing up and moving them here. They will eventually find a place of there own close to us but for now and probably the next 6 months or so they will be living here.

That will be a piece of cake compared to packing up all there stuff. They have rooms that you can't even walk in because they have saved so much stuff. But I'm determined to get it done and get it done by the 21st of this month.

I'm off to Mad town in the morning to do a lot of ~~throwing stuff out~~ packing.

Well I am off to bed, it's almost 2am and I have to be up bright and early.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-02-11T22:16:00.000-06:00

Look Out Papa John

2009-02-10T12:03:00.011-06:00

Four Cool Cats

Hug Fest

Let the pizza making begin!

Papa Josh

Roo and Marla posing for the camera.

Marla and I taking pictures at the same time.

The pizza making crew.

Jake and Josh contemplating the art of pizza making.

After making the pizzas no one ate they headed outside.

Marissa was the pit crew and here she is fixing Ruben's tire.

All I said was pose for the camera and this is what I got.

Thanks Marla for letting us ~~escape~~ come to your house on Friday. We had a blast.

See ya this Friday. lol

Not Me Monday

2009-02-09T21:21:00.003-06:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is my first time participating in Not Me Mondays and it certainly is Not because
I haven't been able to figure out how to do Mr. Linky.

I did not keep my son out of school on Friday just so we could have a play date with my friend because I was in desperate need of an escape from my bed bound mother and aunt who have just moved in with us.

I did not spend a lot of money on a beautiful baby blanket for my newborn niece the day she was born and have her name embroidered on it even when I knew there was a chance that my sister would change it. She did. So if anyone knows a baby named Lacie Rae I have a blanket for her. :)

I did not let my son play his star wars video game for 6 hours straight because I was exhausted. I would never ever let a child stay in front of a tv that long!

My mom and aunt both had to be transported in an ambulance to the ER yesterday and I most certainly did Not go in each of their ER rooms and go through the supply closets and take supplies we would be needing at home because I would not have the time to go out and get them. That would so be stealing and I would never do that.

Ambulances, Bed Pans and Exhaustion

2009-02-08T20:57:00.004-06:00

Mom and Deana had to be taken to the ER by ambulance this morning and I am just getting home and it's 9 pm. It has been a very long overwhelming exhausting day.

Deana was admitted and will be in the hospital for a few days due to a bacterial infection, her white blood cell count is really high and she has a bad UTI.

Mom got to come home but she is still pretty sick.

Marissa is sick and has a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I have no clue how I am going to get her there because no one will be here to stay with mom.

I need to clone myself.

I never pictured having to take care of a bed ridden mother and an aunt in poor health while raising small children. I thought the kids would at least be a bit older before it came to that. But it has and I will take care of them until the day I die, it's just really overwhelming right now. But I will find a way to juggle it all and I know God will give me the strength.

I am the luckiest woman in the world to have such a caring, giving and compassionate husband and one who has no qualms about putting his mother-in-law on the bed pan when he has to.

Going to collapse into bed now. I hope this post makes at least a little sense. :)

Welcome to the World Little One

2009-02-05T22:10:00.007-06:00

Update: The baby's name has been changed to Layla Kay. All I can say is my sister wanted to name the baby Layla but her boyfriend wanted Lacie so she let him name her. However tonight he came to the hospital high on drugs and physically attacked my sister. She is ok, just really shaken up. So she changed the baby's name to Layla Kay. Kay is after her mom.Please continue to keep my sister and niece in your prayers.

Lacie Rae
6 pounds 8 oz.
19 inches long

Layla and her Mommy, my little sister, Elizabeth.

Elaina with her little sister, Layla.

Thank you God for protecting my sweet little niece for the past 9 months and bringing her safely into this world. Please continue to watch over her.

This Warms my Heart

2009-02-04T10:26:00.003-06:00

Finally having us all together has been great and I think they may be moving here so that we are better able to care for them.

The kids love crawling up in the bed with Nana and watching TV.

Safe and Sound

2009-01-31T15:05:00.010-06:00

We survived an ice storm. I don't think anyone here in KY was prepared for just how bad it was. We finally have Internet service and electricity. We were the lucky ones and only lost electricity for not quite 24 hours. Thank God for our wood burning stove. The same wood burning stove that I wanted to get rid of when we first moved in. It now has earned it's place in our family and will not be going anywhere.

We live in Hopkinsville and it was bad here but not as bad as it was in Madisonville, 45 min from here. My mom and Deana (my aunt) live in Madisonville, lost electricity on Tuesday at noon. I spent all day Tuesday on the phone with 20 different people trying to find out how we could get my mom out if the electricity did not come back on for a few days. I talked to the Emergency Management person, ambulance service and the House Supervisor at the Hospital. No one could really give me any answers.

Just for those who don't know. My mom is bed bound and has not walked or been in a car for a year. A year ago she broke her leg and because of her osteoporosis it has not healed very much even though they did surgery and they put plates and screws in it. She has several other medical problems also. She hasn't even been in a wheel chair for about 3 months. She is supposed to be getting a lift to get her in and out of her wheel chair but it is taking forever to get it to go through with Medicaid.

Anyway, there was no phone service Tuesday night so I could not get a hold of Mom and Deana to see if they were safe. I couldn't even get through to the police station, all phones were out and stayed out for about 4 days.

Tuesday night, after several hours, I found someone with a kerosene heater and Jose took it to them that night. It was treacherous but he made the trip there. Wednesday we found out that there wasn't anything open at all in Madisonville so we knew there was no way for them to get more Kerosene. Most of Hopkinsville (our town) was out of kerosene because everyone from the surrounding counties were coming here.

We finally found someone who had 3 gallons of kerosene and they gave it to us. All I can say is God was watching over us. I took the kerosene to them on Wed. night and Mom was not doing well. She was white as a sheet and shaking. The only time I have seen her look that bad was when we almost lost her a year ago.

There was nothing I could do that night, she wouldn't let me call 911 and I had been told there wasn't much they could do because the hospital would not admit her. We did not have enough people to move her and she was terrified of being moved because she has been dropped so many times.

I made sure they got the kerosene heater working and warmed up. Then I had to leave because there was no way of letting Jose know I was ok and I had to go to Hopkinsville for phone service so that I could coordinate getting mom out the next day.

Leaving them there is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I cried and prayed the whole way back for God to just take care of them and keep them safe until I could get back to get them out. I did not know how I was going to get mom out, only that I was.

I got home, helped Jose get the kids settled. We were still without electricity that night and the kids had a blast camping out in the living room in front of the wood stove.

I started making calls that night and found a sweet older lady that goes to the Center where Jose works to come over and watch the kids Thursday morning.

I called everywhere trying to find people who could help us get mom in our house and could not find anyone.
Jose and I went to Madisonville anyway on Thursday morning. We weren't sure what was going to happen, we just knew that mom was not doing well and we had to get her out. My mom's neighbor and her husband and brother came over to help lift mom.

When I got there on Thursday morning, mom looked so bad. She was freezing and dehydrated. We put her gate belt on her and the five of us got her in her wheel chair and then into the car. I am pretty sure she sprained her ankle while we were getting her into the car but at that point it was minor compared to what could have happened to her if we had not gotten her out.

We got her here and found two EMTs that helped get her into our house. When they pulled up I was not very confident because they were both pretty skinny guys but they pretty much lifted mom by themselves.

We put her in our room and had to take the door off and part of her wheel chair wheels off but we finally got her in our bed.

Jose and I are sleeping on the couches in the living room but I don't mind. I would sleep on the floor if I had to. I'm just so very thankful they are here and safe. And mom finally got to see our house for the first time.

They will probably be staying here a couple of months. Home health is supposed to be coming in tomorrow. We did not have to transfer to the agency here because Madisonville's home health has someone who works for them but lives here.

There have been 3 people who have died due to this ice storm. I did not know them but I am keeping their families in my prayers. I just pray that there are not more people who have not been found yet. I know the National Guard is now in Madisonville doing door to door checks.

I have been reminded once more what really is important in life. The little things that I let bother me from day to day just do not matter in the bigger scheme of things. I just wonder how many times I will have to be reminded of that. I remember it when I lose someone or face some tragedy but then I soon forget and need to be reminded once more.

Thank you God for keeping my family safe and please be with those families who have lost someone during this storm and be with the ones that have been affected by this and those who still do not have power.

Your Gonna Miss This....Moment

2009-01-27T13:31:00.002-06:00

I recently found this blog called Your Gonna Miss This that had a GREAT idea, posting about the "moments" we're going to miss when our kids grow older. You can read more about it here.
The name is from the Trace Atkins song, Your Gonna Miss This, which is one of my favorites.

I'm definitely going to miss holding my sleeping baby girl in my arms while she snores quietly. This was her sleeping in my arms during Deb's dad's memorial. In no time at all she will be too big for me to hold like this. Boy am I gonna miss that.

We Are Home

2009-01-26T22:34:00.004-06:00

Marissa and I came back from Ashland Friday night. Marissa did great on the trip there but she got sick the first night. I think it was just her allergies.

It was a very hard trip. My heart is broken for my best friend and her whole family. The memorial was beautiful. I just feel a little drained and empty right now so I don't have a lot of words.

I only took a few pictures this time. Here are two of my favorites.

He Passed Away

2009-01-19T22:07:00.005-06:00

Deb's dad died last night. She was with him when he died. All five children are having a hard time with it. Leoma, his wife, is especially having a hard time. They were married 51 years. I can't even comprehend how long that is.

Marissa and I will be leaving on Wed. to go to the memorial which is on Thursday. I think it will do Deb good to see her God Daughter right now.

Please keep this family in your prayers and pray for us to have a safe trip to Ashland.

Mom is your name...

2009-01-13T23:47:00.008-06:00

I found this on my friend Marla's Craft blog. I especially needed to read this today!

The telephone's ringing, the TV is blaring
Sister is crying 'cause brother's not sharing

There's a spill on the carpet that no one will claim,
There's no time for sitting when mommy's your name.

The Laundry is folded, but not put away
The dishes you just washed were from yesterday

Without any warning, your relatives came
There's no getting caught up when mommy's your name.

You drive to the market, you drive to the school
You drive to the cleaners, you drive the carpool

You drive yourself crazy, it's really a shame that
There's no time for resting when mommy's your name.

To your bedroom you sneak to find peace for a minute,
but your minute is over before you begin it.

Your little one finds you, and thinks it's a game
There's no time for hiding when mommy's your name.

At night as you kneel to thank Heaven above you,
an angel creeps in and says, "mommy, I love you."

You may not know glory, or fortune or fame,
but what does it matter when Mommy's your name?

What Happens at Dinner When Marissa Hasn't had a Nap?

2009-01-12T19:37:00.007-06:00

I even took her pigtails out and she still didn't wake up. But she never let go of her grilled cheese! :)

A New Toy

2009-01-12T11:15:00.006-06:00

If you have visited our blog in the last day or two you have probably wondered what is going on because the look changes every 10 minutes. Well, I've found a new toy and I'm having way too much fun making headers and trying to decide which look I like best. So bear with me, I'm sure by tonight I will have made a decision. My poor kids are hoping I make one soon because they need to be feed, dressed, and entertained. :)

You can find my new toy at Scrapblog.
I've also decided that since I'm not good at scrap booking the old fashion way that I would use scrapblog to make a page every month for the kids and have them printed out and put them in a book.
That way when my kids see Josh and Jake's scrapbooks when they are older they won't feel quite so unloved.
Marla has documented every moment of their lives and I think it's awesome, I wish I had the talent and patience to do that. Since I don't I guess scrapblog is the next best thing, or at least that is what I will tell the kids. :)

My Promise to Myself for 2009

2009-01-07T01:19:00.007-06:00

Well, first off I am home. I got in Sunday night. Deb has pneumonia but is slowly getting better. There is no change in her dad. It was very hard to leave but I had to get back.

Tonight I am overcome with so many emotions.

The year has started and I know of several people who have lost someone in the last week or so. My heart aches for all who have lost someone they love and cherish.

My best friend, Deb, and her family may soon have to spend 2009 learning how to live without a beloved husband, father, grandfather, friend and all around American Hero.

Deb's dad is hanging on but the family is going through so very much right now. They are grieving the man they knew and loved for so many years. If he makes it, he may never be the same.

We aren't promised tomorrow but we are promised that God will walk the journey of grief or whatever road we may have to go down, even if He has to carry us.

Grief is such a very hard road.

We all grieve.

Whether it's a childhood lost, the ending of a marriage, having to let go of a dream, or the death of a loved one.

I'm in no way comparing these.
While there is nothing that can compare to facing the finality of losing someone you love, the process of grief is the same.

I've been down the road of grief many times and my heart aches for those who are starting or continuing the journey of grief this year.

I am reminded every day to squeeze every bit of life out of every moment. I want everyone in my life to know how very much I love and appreciate them. I never want to have to face another casket with a list of things I wish I had said.

So my promise to myself for 2009 is to spend the year showing the people in my life how much I cherish them.

I mean really, how much time does it take to address a card and take it to the post office, to send an email, to buy and inexpensive gift, to give someone a hug or just simply say thank you.

I let so many opportunities pass me by this year, opportunities to show the people in my life how much they are loved and appreciated.

I let myself off the hook by saying, "Oh, well I'm just so busy, they will understand." What if they aren't around to understand, what if I don't get the chance again.

So this year, I will drop the excuses and do my best to take every chance I get and show people what they mean to me, because I don't want to be here next year with a list of things I wish I had said or done to someone who is no longer here.

Missing My Babies from Ashland

2009-01-01T19:15:00.004-06:00

I left late Tuesday night to come to Ashland, KY (6 hour drive). My best friend Debbie's dad is ICU and they are not expecting him to live. He has had four strokes. Tuesday they called the family in to say goodbye so I decided it was time for me to come. He is still hanging on.
Wed. morning when I woke Elaina (my 4 yr old niece) up she got this big smile on her face and said "Kee Kee, you have been gone a long time."
She is such a little sweetie. It doesn't matter how long it's been since I have seen her, when I visit she wants no one but her Kee Kee.

I have really enjoyed spending time with her and my godson Travis. But I miss my babies and Jose. I have never spent New Years without the kids since they have been born and in 8 years Jose and I have only spent one New Years apart. So I'm really missing them but I know I need to be here. On top of everything Debbie is sick with bronchitis.

I'm not sure when I will be heading home, but I don't think I will be able to stay past Wed. I would hate to leave and then something happen because I'm not sure if I will be able to come back.

I will try to post some pics up of my visit while I am here.

Hope everyone has a great New Year.

Our First Christmas Eve at Our New Home

2008-12-29T14:56:00.008-06:00

Christmas Eve morning we opened our presents as a family of five (can't forget Toby).It's nice knowing that we will celebrate and make many Christmas memories in this home for the next 20 years or so, God willing.

Showing off their candy canes.

Marissa loves her new kitchen.

The Q Crew checking out the kitchen.

Dad opening his 1930's radio repleca.

The Darth Vadar lap top... the best present ever according to Roo.

Toby thanking Mommy for his Christmas toy.

One of Roo's Favorite Presents...

2008-12-27T22:23:00.007-06:00

...was also one of Jose's. :)

___________________________________________________

We had a great Christmas at my mom's. We are actually still here. We will be headed home tomorrow and I will write more about our Christmas and post more pictures.

Deb's dad is still in ICU and things are not looking good. He has had another stroke and two big heart attacks. So please continue to keep him in your prayers.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and I can't wait to catch up with you all soon.

Three 4 Year Olds, a 2 Year Old & Lots of Sugar

2008-12-23T20:19:00.012-06:00

Josh and Jake came over today. We made brownies, ate ~~hot dogs~~ buns, and decorated giant ginger bread and snowman cookies.

Marissa ate way more candy than she put on her ginger bread man.

Jake got a little crazy with the pink.

Mr. GQ (Josh) and his prized snowman.

Roo inspecting his work.

The boys were using their buns for telephones. Goofy little fellows.

And the most important thing is... Marla and I made it out alive and we didn't even have to break out the bottle. :)

It's awesome to have a friend who just gets it, it being what real motherhood is like and someone who knows sometimes you just do what works.

Thanks Marla for being such a great friend. I'm so glad you gave ~~a complete stranger~~ me your number in the mall when the boys were a year old. :)

They Refuse to Cooperate

2008-12-22T16:59:00.002-06:00

This and That

2008-12-22T10:47:00.007-06:00

We spent the weekend at mom's. Jose and Deana went to the Casino boat in Evansville on Friday. That was their Christmas present from me, money to gamble away :)
They had a blast and Jose went in with $100 and came out with $180. Deana did not do as well, but she had a great time.

While they were gone on Friday, Mom and I decided to give the kids a present. If we could, mom and I would exchange presents on the day we buy them. We have never been able to wait. The kids opened their remote control cars that mom and Deana got them. Ruben LOVES his. He said it was the best Christmas present ever. Marissa's was a bit smaller and less complicated but she loves it too.

We leave Wed. afternoon to go back to mom's for Christmas. I was going to let the kids open all their presents Wed. morning. But then they would not get to play with them long before we leave to go to mom's. And I'm just not dragging all their loot to moms to have to drag it back again. So I decided they could open one present every night until we go to moms. I realized I'm the adult here and I can make and/or break the rules if I want to. :)
They opened their shopping carts last night.

So maybe that is a new tradition we will start. That way they really get to enjoy one thing before moving on to the next.

I really am enjoying the holidays this year. I am trying to live in the moment and just enjoying being with my family and making sure my kids know the real meaning of Christmas.

Every year we buy toys and donate them to toys for tots or our church. This year I decided to do something for people that we know. There is a single mom in my life who is a great friend and wonderful mother so we are doing some things for them. I won't go in detail about it here because it's just not necessary but I am really thankful we have been able to help this Christmas. It's such a tough time for everyone right now.

___________________________________________________________________________________

On a sad note, my best friend, Deb, called a little while ago and her Dad, Ernie, had a stroke last night. He has been in and out of the hospital the last month or so. But we all thought he was doing better. This family really has been through so much lately. Elizabeth is back in jail and we still don't know the status of the baby.
I feel so torn because I want to be there with Deb and the whole family because I consider them my family as well. But it's Christmas and I don't want to leave my kids either. Hopefully he will be fine and I can go the weekend after Christmas.

Please keep them all (Gouge Family) in your prayers.

Our Friday Night in the Park

2008-12-14T18:01:00.006-06:00

Every year we take the kids out for a long drive to look at Christmas lights and then we walk through the park and look and the lights and take pictures.
The camera was being difficult this year and it was freezing out. My poor kids, I insisted that we go on Friday night, it's important to continue traditions even in 22 degree weather. :)
Roo took his camera too, I think his pictures came out better than mine but I haven't yet taken the time to figure out the software to download his pictures to the computer. He has only had the camera since his birthday, 8 months is not that long is it? :)

Before leaving our house, Marissa checks out our carousel.

Marissa was so excited to see Snoopy at the park. She has a stuffed Snoopy that she loves.

Ruben did not like being in front of the camera since he brought his, I had to beg and plead for him to let me take his picture.

Marissa was in awe of this deer, his head moved up and down.

Marissa and I were petting the deer, Ruben just standing there with camera in hand. :)

Daddy's Office Christmas Party

2008-12-10T02:50:00.009-06:00

This first picture was a miracle!
It's rare to get them both looking at the camera at the same time but smiling and hugging...well I thought it was impossible until tonight. :)

Such a handsome little guy.

Marissa hamming it up!

She gave me this look when I wouldn't let her have a glass of coke that was on the table. lol

Thank You

2008-12-03T23:34:00.010-06:00

I can't seem to find the words tonight as I look through pictures of the last two years. I think the song that is playing sums it all up...Thank You.
Thank you God for giving me this little girl, for watching over her.
So often I forget just how very blessed I am.

I'm so very grateful...thank you God for everything.

Breaking Out the Christmas Decor Before Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T22:27:00.008-06:00

I brought(dragged) all of the Christmas boxes in the house today.

And started putting things up around the house.

The beginning of Dec. always seems to fly by.

So I wanted to get a jump on Dec. Still no tree as of yet though.

I found an inflatable carousel on sale at target last week. This afternoon, we all bundled up and went out to put it up.

And I realized after looking at my pictures tonight I did not get one of the finished product...but it's way too cold to go out there now so that picture will have to wait. :)

Yes, it's almost Dec. and we still have leaves in our front yard, lots and lots of leaves. :)

Busy Week Coming Up

2008-11-24T10:14:00.002-06:00

I'm so not ready for Thanksgiving to be here and I'm in no way ready for my baby girl to turn 2 the day after.

Jose and I spent the weekend painting Marissa's room for her birthday. I got her a Winnie the Pooh bedding set a while ago. She mainly is crazy about Tigger but I couldn't find a set with just Tigger so she has to take Pooh too. :)

I wanted to paint her room purple but it just didn't work with the border and the bedding so we went with PINK! Much to my best friend's dismay! Lometa (Ruben's godmother) hates pink for little girls and honestly I'm not really crazy about it myself. But we did it anyway. We chose a very bright,almost hot pink. It could get to be a bit much I'm afraid, but I think it makes for a very cheery little girl's room. We also painted half of one wall with chalk board paint because the child loves to draw.

I promise to post pictures soon. We still have to get more border to put up.

I've got so much to do this week and all I really want to do on this very rainy Monday is climb under a blanket and go to sleep.

Helpless

2008-11-15T12:33:00.008-06:00

I really hate feeling helpless but right now I do. My heart is heavy tonight because of my little sister Elizabeth. She is not my biological sister but I have been in her life for 14 years since she was 8 years old and she is my sister in every way that counts.

She was in and out of trouble throughout her teenage years, sneaking out of the house, drugs and boys were always involved.
When she was 19 she had my niece, Elaina. We all thought when she had Elaina she would change and grow up a little bit. Unfortunately that did not happen. She left Elaina with her mom (my best friend Deb) when Elaina was just 2 months old.
Elaina will be 4 this month and Deb and her husband are in the middle of going to court for full custody for Elaina.

Several months ago Elizabeth got in a lot of trouble with the law and had charges pressed against her. I won't go into all the details of that. But the things she did involved members of our family and because of the things she did our family can no longer be there for her and I totally understand that and do not blame them at all. She has a court date for Feb. 4, 2009. They are very serious charges and I don't know what will happen.

She had been staying with her boyfriend, They have been together for a few years. He is also has charges pending against him. Last week her boyfriend's mother kicked her out.

She is 7 months pregnant and has only been to a doctor once and has not been on prenatal vitamins and has been using drugs on and off. We are not sure what kind or how much. I found out today that she is in a women's shelter.

When I found out today that she was in the shelter, I called there and left a message. I didn't figure she could call me back long distance (we live 6 hours from her) But a few hours later she called. It was good to hear her voice but I could tell how broken she was and it was really hard to keep it together on the phone.

My heart breaks for her. I know what she has done is wrong. And I want to say that she finally has realized the error of her ways but I can't because I have thought and said that so many times before and I was wrong. But she is my sister and I know what it is like to have everyone walk away from you because you screwed up big time. It's the loneliest feeling one could ever experience.

My first instinct is to get in my car, drive the 6 hours and bring her here. I did offer but she said the shelter is helping her to get her GED (she is dyslexic and has always struggled in school and with getting her GED) And they will help her with other things too. Counseling and getting a medical card so she can get to the doctor.

I think about the first time I met her. I was 18 years old and in a place where I had no one except my mom. She was an 8 year old chubby little girl who only had her mom and her brother. The day we met she was sitting on the couch waiting to meet her Big Sister (through big brothers/big sisters) She was so shy. It didn't take long for me to draw her out. She was laughing and talking on our first outing.

I remember taking her to get her first training bra. And worrying about her when she was 12 and no longer chubby and older guys started to notice her. At 12 she looked 16 She was so and is beautiful.

I remember letting her drive my truck at 14 or so. She was doing great until a bee came through the window and she went hysterical. It was not funny at the time but afterwards we laughed our butts off.

I miss her so very much and I hate the thought of her in a women's shelter. I used to work in one. Some are not bad but it's not a place you would ever want to be. Especially 7 months pregnant.

She says her legs and feet are extremely swollen. And she is in a lot of back pain.I hope they will get her to a doctor soon.

I am so very worried about that little person inside of her. I don't know what will happen with this little one. I just ask God to keep his hand on this sweet innocent baby.
I don't know if she will serve jail time and if so what will happen to that little one. I know family will eventually get it but if the baby is born addicted I'm not sure of the process that we will have to go through.

I wish I was there to put my arms around her and tell her everything will be alright. I am fighting the urge to get in my car and drive there. Even though she would only be able to see me for a few minutes because of where she is and their rules.

All I can do is pray even though at the moment it doesn't seem like enough. But I know God can take care of her. He is the one that brought us together so many years ago. He gave me a sister when I had lost mine. Not as a replacement but she helped fill the void and so did her family who became my family.

I ask everyone to say a prayer for Elizabeth and our family her unborn child and Elaina. I know God can take care of all of us and turn this situation around.

Elaina, Me, Elizabeth and Marissa
This was taken last year at our girl's birthday party. Elaina and Marissa share the same birthday, Nov. 28th.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-12T13:17:00.002-06:00

November, Already?

2008-11-10T10:23:00.011-06:00

Where does the time go? My baby is about to turn two and my niece will be 4?

Wow, Thanksgiving is just around the corner and Christmas will be here before we know it.

I realized this morning that I have to take time to enjoy my mornings alone with Marissa because soon she too will be heading off to preschool before I know it.

So this morning I did some cleaning while she followed along and helped me. And then I gathered her in my arms and rocked her. Just taking in all of her. Thinking about how she has grown and changed and how independent she has been from the very beginning. She is such a joy, always looking for something to get into, her little mind always working in overdrive, her little face always wearing a smile. Oh how I love that little girl!

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We have been going back and forth to mom's lately. And just got back yesterday from staying for the weekend. I'm trying to help Deana out more because she does so much. Deana recently had a kidney stone and was in bed for about a week. I took care of mom and realized all that Deana does for mom. I have never heard her complain one time though.

Mom's physical therapist has been trying to get her a lift. It will make everyone's life a little easier, especially mom's. She will be able to get in her wheel chair and sit up more during the day. And it will be a lot safer than just one or two people trying to get her up.

In order for Medicaid to approve the lift they need a weight on mom. The last time she was weighed was a year ago in the hospital. So tomorrow the Department of Transportation will be coming to the house with a scale to weigh mom. They volunteered their scales for free, the ambulance volunteered a stretcher, and several people have volunteered their time to help get mom weighed. We will be heading back tonight to stay so we can help tomorrow. Jose is off work for Veteran's Day and we will be taking Roo out of school.

I am hoping Mom will get the lift soon. It would be awesome if the lift would work to get mom in and out of the car. Then she could finally come here and see the house and stay for the Holidays. She could also go shopping for Christmas. She has not been anywhere other than doctors appointments for the last year.

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Well, gotta go now. The electric heaters we are running just tripped the power.

Oh, did I mention that our heat has been out for about two weeks???
Which was fine because it has been fairly warm but last night it was pretty chilly. The whole unit has to be replaced. Jose has called two different places but it seems they are taking their sweet time. Oh the joys of owning a home ;)

A Very Booo Time

2008-11-03T20:11:00.005-06:00

Well we were all dressed up and trick or treating in Madisonville. I am told that in our neighborhood our neighbors were handing out cupcakes. Cupcakes! Well, Marissa wanted to be a pirate, even though I wanted her to be a ladybug. Ruben was predictably Darth Vader. Enjoy.

Jose

Just Pics

2008-11-03T15:13:00.005-06:00

I'm a little behind in my postings. These pictures were taken about two weeks ago. I will post Halloween pics later tonight or tomorrow.

I'm Just a Girl

2008-10-22T10:22:00.006-05:00

I've recently been asked why I don't write more on the blog. Why I just post pictures and give updates about the kids.

Well, I guess for a few reasons.
One, this blog started when we moved from CA so that family and friends could keep updated on our lives. Then after Marissa was born it became more of a tool for friends and family to watch the kids grow. Since the kids are here now it's really all about them, none of our family and friends care how Jose and I are doing. lol

Another reason is because at one time I had gotten in the habit of reading blogs that all seemed to portray perfect little lives, complete with perfect husbands, perfect children, perfect houses, and even the perfect pets.

One particular blog went on about how she wakes at 5 am and cooks breakfast for her husband, drives her son to school, comes home and gets her house squeaky clean and then takes her well behaved 3 yr old to play dates, to the park, to mommy and me classes. Returns home to cook a 4 course organic dinner for her family. And on and on. (This is no one I know just a random blog I stumbled upon.)

Well, I have none of that to write about. Don't get me wrong, I am very very grateful for my life and overall it's a great one. But if I were to write about my day it would go something like this.

I hear Jose's alarm go off in the morning and struggle to open my eyes because I have been up most of the night because I am an insomniac, and happen to have a sleep disorder.

On mornings where I actually am able to get to sleep before 4 am I do get up with Ruben and put a pop tart in the toaster which he won't eat anyways. But on most other days, Jose gets him up and he gets himself ready with clothes I've laid out the night before. He is very proud of getting himself dressed he says "I'm a big boy I can dress myself." He comes in my room to be inspected and kissed goodbye.

By that time Marissa is in her room screaming "Mommy, out please." She has a gate on her door because she can't be trusted while we are sleeping. :) I stumble into the kitchen grab my Pepsi, put her in the high chair and give her a bowl of cereal, let the not so perfect dog out and finish trying to shake the cobwebs from my head.

After she is done with her cereal, I turn on cartoons (all the good mothers are gasping) and I get some housework done. How much depends on the day, how I feel and if Miss Priss will actually sit and watch cartoons.

By this time it's lunch time, Roo comes home, we eat lurch, which is usually something very easy that does not have to be cooked or can be microwaved.
We run errands if we have to, nap time for Rissa, quiet time for mommy, and Roo can has quiet time in his room and even *gasp* watches cartoons, KET because that's the only channel he gets in his room.

Yes, I play with my children, I take them outside. But it's not a set scheduled kind of thing. And the closest we get to gymboree or mommy and me classes is toddler reading time at the library, we have only been once but it's counts.:)Marissa is not the structured scheduled play time kind of gal.

I don't cook dinner every night, some nights my husband even cooks dinner. I have days where the last thing I want to be is a stay at home mom, and times where I want to strangle my husband because I can't believe how many things he just doesn't get about being a stay at home mom.

I question God about something almost everyday, I get mad at Him too but I come around eventually and He is always there. He knows the kind of person, mother and wife I am. He knows what goes on behind the closed doors of my home, so why should I try and hide it from anyone else, when His opinion and approval should be the only one I seek.

See, I'm just a girl who has become a wife and mother. Just a girl trying daily to get it right but failing just as many times as I succeed.

I believe that is what we all are, just girls who love our family and want to get it right. We want to be the perfect wife and mother. But I think it's dangerous to perpetuate that perfect image to other mothers. Because then they feel like they are less and are failures for not being able to measure up.

Next time you see someone who looks like they have it all together, just remember you don't know what goes on behind the closed doors of their home, and she could probably use a friend to let her know it's ok to not be perfect all the time.

Fall Fun

2008-10-11T22:59:00.006-05:00

Finally Have Internet Access

2008-10-07T21:06:00.004-05:00

We have been without Internet access for about a week. Newwave finally came out today and hooked up a new modem and now I have access to the outside world once again.

I also have a nasty cold, so does Jose and Roo. So I will keep this update short.

Roo was so happy today because he was one of only three kids in his class of 26 to get a treat (candy, no less) for being good today. Apparently, I'm not the only one who is cranky on Monday's, so is most of Roo's class.

Jose went out of town for the night to a conference. You would have thought the kid's world had been turned upside down. Ruben stated that he liked me getting him dressed this morning, Jose usually gets him up and makes him dress himself, but he likes it better when Daddy drives him to school and picks him up. I told him I liked it when Daddy takes him to school everyday too :)
Marissa was at the window yesterday around the time Jose was supposed to be arriving home from work, and every car that came by she thought it was "My Daddy."
I thought I would never get them in bed.

And I realized I would have a hard time being a single mother, because I look forward to Jose coming home to help out with the kids so I get a break. Oh and of course I do miss him when he is gone. :)

Roo has fall break next week. We don't have anything planned and probably won't do much but just relax and go to the new park we have not been too.

The other night I let Ruben and Marissa watch a movie before bed in Rissa's room. I did not hear anything about about 30 minutes and just knew they were into something. I walked in and this is what I found.

Jose was shocked when I woke them both up. But it was 6 PM and there was no way I was letting them continue sleeping knowing that they would be up all night.
Nope, sorry I have to have my peace and quiet at night.

Today's Soccer Game

2008-09-27T20:52:00.005-05:00

Ruben is really enjoying soccer. He has practice twice a week and this week he had two games. Usually he just has games on Sat. but this week he had one on Thursday night and one today. It was a bit hectic this week but it's over now. :)

He plays in the YMCA soccer league. They do not keep score, however Ruben does. He knows every game how many goals his team and the other team scores.

The first two games they played, the other teams were a little better and scored more goals. This really frustrated Roo, even when I tried to tell him it's all about having fun and not about who scores the most goals. He apparently didn't buy that for a minute.

They did better on Thursday night and also today. Roo scored his first goal on Thursday and two today. He was over the moon about this. I continue to tell him it's about having fun and not about "crushing the other team." (He used that expression when we were getting ready to go to the first game, after a very long talk he has not used it again.) Apparently, I need to explain this to some of the other parents there because there are a few kids on the team that have no interest in soccer and certainly have no fun whatsoever playing soccer. But the parents, mainly the fathers, continue to make them play. I guess it's a "my son will play sports" kind of mentality.

Ruben plays because he has been begging to play for the last year. And though he could have played last year, they can start at 3, I thought he was too young. I'm glad we waited.

Anyway, I will stop rambling and get to the pictures. :)

Saying a prayer before the game. Ruben's on the green team.

Pointing to their goal. They are 3 & 4 year olds, so this happens often in the game. Ruben is the second from the right.

Ruben (#10) getting help from his teammate.

What Happens at Nana's, Stays at Nana's

2008-09-20T23:03:00.004-05:00

Next USA World Cup Soccer Player

2008-09-13T14:44:00.003-05:00

Ruben has been excited about his first soccer match. Well I have been excited about his first match as well. He did very well. Mommy, Daddy and Marissa are very proud of him.

Remembering My Sister on Her 34th Birthday

2008-09-12T10:49:00.004-05:00

To hear the music on the slideshow, scroll down to the bottom of the blog and pause the music player.

The Quotable Ruben

2008-08-27T22:24:00.003-05:00

With the addition of Toby, Ruben has come to learn some new words. One word he has recently learned is "fetch". I'm not sure he really knows what fetch means though, but he's sure he knows "fetch".

Kiesha: Ruben, what is "fetch"?

Ruben: Mom... fetch is when you fetch, then go fetch it.

Got that?!

Happy Birthday Baby & Update

2008-08-27T01:09:00.005-05:00

Today is, actually it was Jose's birthday. It's 1 AM now the 27th technically.
We ordered in from Jose's favorite Thai place and had cheesecake afterwards. We sang Happy Birthday to him while Marissa looked at us like we had really lost our minds. She wasn't too keen on the Birthday song. She wanted to go straight to the cake!

He got an expensive fountain pen from his Employees at work and was thrilled.
The present we got him has not come in yet but he will love it. I can't reveal it here because he may surprise me and actually pay our blog a visit. :)

This weekend the kids are going to my mom's so we can celebrate our 5 year anniversary on Sat. I want to try and paint Marissa's room this weekend but not sure I should take on a task like that when we should be celebrating.

Roo is playing soccer for the first time and is so excited. His first practice was supposed to be tonight but it was canceled. They rescheduled it for Friday.

Toby is doing great. Marissa continues to climb on his back and scream "Ride!" He hasn't caught on yet but she tries everyday hoping it will be the day he finally gets it.

Well, I'll be sure to post pics from this weekend. I'm heading to bed. Night all. :)