I'm Just a Girl

I've recently been asked why I don't write more on the blog. Why I just post pictures and give updates about the kids.

Well, I guess for a few reasons.
One, this blog started when we moved from CA so that family and friends could keep updated on our lives. Then after Marissa was born it became more of a tool for friends and family to watch the kids grow. Since the kids are here now it's really all about them, none of our family and friends care how Jose and I are doing. lol

Another reason is because at one time I had gotten in the habit of reading blogs that all seemed to portray perfect little lives, complete with perfect husbands, perfect children, perfect houses, and even the perfect pets.

One particular blog went on about how she wakes at 5 am and cooks breakfast for her husband, drives her son to school, comes home and gets her house squeaky clean and then takes her well behaved 3 yr old to play dates, to the park, to mommy and me classes. Returns home to cook a 4 course organic dinner for her family. And on and on. (This is no one I know just a random blog I stumbled upon.)

Well, I have none of that to write about. Don't get me wrong, I am very very grateful for my life and overall it's a great one. But if I were to write about my day it would go something like this.

I hear Jose's alarm go off in the morning and struggle to open my eyes because I have been up most of the night because I am an insomniac, and happen to have a sleep disorder.

On mornings where I actually am able to get to sleep before 4 am I do get up with Ruben and put a pop tart in the toaster which he won't eat anyways. But on most other days, Jose gets him up and he gets himself ready with clothes I've laid out the night before. He is very proud of getting himself dressed he says "I'm a big boy I can dress myself." He comes in my room to be inspected and kissed goodbye.

By that time Marissa is in her room screaming "Mommy, out please." She has a gate on her door because she can't be trusted while we are sleeping. :) I stumble into the kitchen grab my Pepsi, put her in the high chair and give her a bowl of cereal, let the not so perfect dog out and finish trying to shake the cobwebs from my head.

After she is done with her cereal, I turn on cartoons (all the good mothers are gasping) and I get some housework done. How much depends on the day, how I feel and if Miss Priss will actually sit and watch cartoons.

By this time it's lunch time, Roo comes home, we eat lurch, which is usually something very easy that does not have to be cooked or can be microwaved.
We run errands if we have to, nap time for Rissa, quiet time for mommy, and Roo can has quiet time in his room and even *gasp* watches cartoons, KET because that's the only channel he gets in his room.

Yes, I play with my children, I take them outside. But it's not a set scheduled kind of thing. And the closest we get to gymboree or mommy and me classes is toddler reading time at the library, we have only been once but it's counts.:)Marissa is not the structured scheduled play time kind of gal.

I don't cook dinner every night, some nights my husband even cooks dinner. I have days where the last thing I want to be is a stay at home mom, and times where I want to strangle my husband because I can't believe how many things he just doesn't get about being a stay at home mom.

I question God about something almost everyday, I get mad at Him too but I come around eventually and He is always there. He knows the kind of person, mother and wife I am. He knows what goes on behind the closed doors of my home, so why should I try and hide it from anyone else, when His opinion and approval should be the only one I seek.

See, I'm just a girl who has become a wife and mother. Just a girl trying daily to get it right but failing just as many times as I succeed.

I believe that is what we all are, just girls who love our family and want to get it right. We want to be the perfect wife and mother. But I think it's dangerous to perpetuate that perfect image to other mothers. Because then they feel like they are less and are failures for not being able to measure up.

Next time you see someone who looks like they have it all together, just remember you don't know what goes on behind the closed doors of their home, and she could probably use a friend to let her know it's ok to not be perfect all the time.