This Sucks

April 27, 2009
This Sucks

First let me get this out of the way,
Yes I know it could be worse and at least I can walk, even if it is just to the bathroom with a walker and I am thankful for that truly I am.

But it still sucks.

I can't take care of my kids, I have to ask someone to bring me food, water or whatever I need at the time. My independent side is really having a hard time with all of this right now.

And it sucks.

I'm thankful the tremors have stopped and I can actually feed myself with my right hand, but it still sucks.

I can't dress or feed my kids and it sucks.

I try to sit up in the wheel chair and roll around the house but the pain becomes unbearable and it sucks.

I received my first hospital bill for $8,000, just for the two ER visits and one night in the hospital (before I was transferred to Nashville) I don't have insurance and it sucks.

The bill from Saint Thomas will probably be around $60,000 or more and that sucks too.

I still have a peace about all of this, it's just hard to focus on that when there are so many things that suck right now.

But I'm home with my kids.

I'm eating for the first time in a week, real food, so much for all the weight I have lost. Which the doctors seem to think was a side effect from my condition (a condition that no one seems to have an exact name for as of yet).

The weight loss factor is one of the things that doesn't really suck though.

Oh and I have my phone that has Internet access which is awesome when you are in bed, however it takes forever and nothing is spelled right but who cares in the grand scheme of things.

Your comments and emails have meant more than I can ever express. The highlight of my day, other than cuddling with my kids, is checking my blog and email.

Thank you all and maybe just maybe things won't be as sucky tomorrow.

God Bless