Marissa Kaylee Dawn's Well Baby Checkup

We took Marissa to the doctor today. She is 23 inches long and weighs 10lbs 4oz. She has grown a lot in seven weeks. I will post her one month pictures this week, we took them last week but I have still not downloaded them.

Her thrush is getting better and her doctor is going to make an appointment for us in Nashville with a pediatric surgeon in the next few weeks. We want to get the surgeons opinion what if anything we need to do for the hole that's near her tracheae. There's is this long medical term for it but I don't remember what it is at the moment.

Things are getting a bit better. I have come out of my cave (our bedroom), and for those that think I'm kidding, just talk to my hubby. I'm even made trips out of the house with the kids. Not for long distances and I have not taken them out in public by myself yet either. Baby steps here, tiny baby steps. I do feel more connected to Marissa and can actually make it through a bottle feeding without wanting someone else to take her from me. Tomorrow is the first full day I will have both of them by myself all day. We tried that last Friday and let's just say Jose had to come home from work and I went back into my cave. I'm slowing coming out of the fog and panic and anxiety but they creep back in from time to time. Jose has been great about it which I will write about in my next post because he now has a title and a huge head to go along with that. So stay tuned and I will tell you all about that, some of you are even responsible for giving him such a big head!

The best part

Roo was overwhelmed with presents but his favorites were his Thomas the train steam engine and his battery powered ATV, from his Nana's. He calls it his AVT Car and he does so well on it. It's for ages up to 8 and goes a little too fast for my comfort when it's on high speed, but Dad lets him drive on high speed and he loves it. Ruben handles it really well and has so much fun, even in the cold :)

Christmas Eve Family Pics

Our little stocking stuffer

Yes, I realize this was cruel and unusual punishment but she was just so darn cute in the stocking!

Finally getting the tree up!

Having a live tree is a tradition that Jose and I started our first Christmas, one that he did long before me. However this year was a little hectic, we did not even get the tree up until a week or so before Christmas. So here is a pic of Ruben hanging decorations while mommy and daddy got caught smooching :)

Not just "Baby Blues"

I know everyone is waiting for Christmas pictures and they will be posted very soon. So much has been going on. Everyone thinks having a baby is this wonderful event and the mother should be overjoyed, which is true. Baby's, especially our Marissa (I'm just a little bias) is such a blessing and joy but there are other feelings that come along after having your bundle of joy. Emotions that you seem to have no control over and have no idea why in the world you would have them. Postpartum depression takes on many forms and has a wide spectrum, from baby blues to panic disorder and even psychosis. I haven't hit the psychosis part so I guess that is something to be thankful full. I will write later about my experience and post some links to articles on the subject. A couple that are friends with us are expecting their first child and it is very important to be informed about this and not feel guilt for having those feelings.
Well I will post more later , hope you can understand my ramblings.