Thursday, April 30, 2009

Glimpes from Roo's Birthday Party, Without Me :(

Our neighbor made green cupcakes for Roo, his favorite color of course.

This year he dressed up as a Storm Trooper

This is Ruben's teacher, they threw him a party at school.

When I get better, I plan on throwing him the party we originally planned, with the red light saber cake he requested. He would not let anyone else try to make a light saber cake, he said, "only my mom knows how to do that because she did it last year."

I feel tired today and still having a hard time getting around, the walker is my friend for now as is my new phone with internet access Jose got me as an early birthday present after my phone took a spin in the washing machine. Hoping and praying tomorrow will be better.

Monday, April 27, 2009

This Sucks

April 27, 2009
This Sucks

First let me get this out of the way,
Yes I know it could be worse and at least I can walk, even if it is just to the bathroom with a walker and I am thankful for that truly I am.

But it still sucks.

I can't take care of my kids, I have to ask someone to bring me food, water or whatever I need at the time. My independent side is really having a hard time with all of this right now.

And it sucks.

I'm thankful the tremors have stopped and I can actually feed myself with my right hand, but it still sucks.

I can't dress or feed my kids and it sucks.

I try to sit up in the wheel chair and roll around the house but the pain becomes unbearable and it sucks.

I received my first hospital bill for $8,000, just for the two ER visits and one night in the hospital (before I was transferred to Nashville) I don't have insurance and it sucks.

The bill from Saint Thomas will probably be around $60,000 or more and that sucks too.

I still have a peace about all of this, it's just hard to focus on that when there are so many things that suck right now.

But I'm home with my kids.

I'm eating for the first time in a week, real food, so much for all the weight I have lost. Which the doctors seem to think was a side effect from my condition (a condition that no one seems to have an exact name for as of yet).

The weight loss factor is one of the things that doesn't really suck though.

Oh and I have my phone that has Internet access which is awesome when you are in bed, however it takes forever and nothing is spelled right but who cares in the grand scheme of things.

Your comments and emails have meant more than I can ever express. The highlight of my day, other than cuddling with my kids, is checking my blog and email.

Thank you all and maybe just maybe things won't be as sucky tomorrow.

God Bless

My Point of View

Sunday, April 26, 2009
From My Point of View

I will keep this short and sweet, because I have not yet masted the art of typing on my very small new phone.I don't know what your guys know because I haven't been able to read the updates.

So here is my version, as some of you may already know I have been experiencing symptoms of tinging and numbness in my hands and fee for quite a while. This goes as far back as when Marissa was born, two years ago.

I thought it was nothing and it never lasted longed than 3 days. And of course, I do not have insurance so seeing a doctor was pretty much out of the question.

Friday and Sat. I did not feel very week, but I made myself just push through it because really what can you do.

I took Roo to his soccer game last sat morning but upon arriving home I could barley walk and had to resort to using my mom's walked just to get around. I was totally against going to the ER, no insurance and we are just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and build back our credit and such.

Sunday morning was one of the scariest times in my life. I couldn't feel my legs,they felt heavy and I could feel pressure but could not pick them up off the bed and when I stood I could see that they were on the floor but could not feel the floor beneath me. I finally let Hubby take me to the ER and they did not find anythinhg wrong. I honestly was beginning to think it was all in my head and wondered if maybe I should be committed, no I'm not joking here.

Sunday night, I started having muscle spasms that I could not control. My arms and legs just started moving on there own. I won't lie, I was terrified. I also felt like someone had given me an epidural. My legs were so very heave. So Hubby called the ambulance at 10 Sunday night. They admitted me and I saw a neurologist on Monday. He examined me and said there was something wrong. Without even discussion the results he had me transferred by ambulance at around1 1 pm Monday night. All I knew was that he said there was a spinal compression. So he sent me to a neurosurgeon in Nashville.
They did a gazillion tests, very painful and admitted me to the Nero ICU. All he found on the tests was a degenerative disk, that apparently has been causing a lot of my back pain. But did not account for the numbness and shaking. Oh did I mention by this time my right side would shake uncontrollable. That was so frustrating, I kept telling it to spot but to no avail So they finally brought in a neurologist. He told me what I needed to hear.

He said he could not prove it with a test but there was something really wrong with me. When he walked out the door I burst into tears. That is all I wanted to hear, that there was indeed a problem and it wasn't in my head. I guess felt validated after all these years living in pain someone finally told me it was real and not in my head.

He told me that the tremors on my Right side has mostly do with my car accident many years ago.
because my right side was the part that was busted up so badly in the accident.
So the plan is to treat it with Medicine, which has already started to control the tremors. I just have to build my strength up and get off that darn walker.

I do know that I have to take it easy. I have a lot of pain, and feel dizzy when getting up. But I'm determined. I just have to approach this like I did 17 years ago when I had to learn how to walk again after my car accident.

I have so much more to share, things God showed me and taught me through all of this but I'm tired so I will end here.

You will never ever know what your comments, prayers, and thoughts have meant to my family.
Oh and if there is anyway to put me on a prayer list on your Church, your friends or even you blog if you so desire, please do.

It's really hard on my husband having to do it all and this has taken a lot out of him and also my aunt having to take care of my mom and the kids.

My prayer requests:
*That I will get that medical card and the phone interview will go great on Tuesday. But honestly I've turned that over to God, if I get it great, if not I know God will handle it. He has given me a peace that surpasses all understanding throughout all of this. Don't get me wrong, I have yelled and cried and asked why, Because personally I think I have been through quite enough in my 32 years. But I'm not promised tomorrow or the use of my legs or even to spend another birthday with my children. All I know is He has gathered me in his arms through all of this, held me and given me a peace I can't explain.

*Please pray for my mom and my whole family, I know this is tough on them.

* And lastly, please pray for my 3 month old neice. You can find out more about that here
Well hope this makes sense. It's taken forever to type if on my phone, and if it doesn't go through well I just may have a temper tantrum, but God understands

Last Week, Wild Ride

A lot has happened since Easter, here are some excerpts from Kiesha's personal blog to get you all caught up.

From her friend Jenn
Kiesha needs our prayers

This a friend of Kiesha's posting this message for her. April 20th

Kiesha called me earlier to ask that I post this for her. She has had some concerning medical issues (a spinal cord compression) that has caused her to need immediate treatment at a hospital in Nashville.
She's obviously very scared because the compression has caused her to loose feeling and control of her legs. And she's very worried because of the financial implications this may cause. Lastly, she's very upset because her little boy's birthday is on Thursday and she's not sure if she will be home for it.

Please send up some prayers for her now. Pray for an easy healing, and strength and comfort from the Lord to get her through this scary time. Also pray for the caretakers that are with her children. She's the most concerned about them right now.

Kiesha, we are thinking of you!!! (((HUGS))) and prayers!!!!

(she said she would inform me as she knows more, and I will share what I can when I can).

Getting Specific April 21st

(Posted by Kiesha's friend, JennH)

Unfortunately there's not a lot to update still on what is going on with Kiesha. Her husband told me that the doctors didn't think the spinal compression was the cause of her issues, and they were going to due a CT of her brain to see if they found something there. But, after speaking to Kiesha's mom today, she said all the tests are still not revealing a true reason that this is happening to her.

She is still at St. Thomas hospital in Nashville, and she is still not able to use her legs. They have put her in a wheelchair for now, and still plan to do more testing to find out what's going on, but their best guess for now is that it is something related to the car wreck she was in as a teenager.

She's just in this frustrating place where she's presented with these terrifying symptoms, but no answers to help guide her to help.

Anyway, there are a few things that Kiesha requested specific prayer for.

One is that her doctors think that because of her condition that she may qualify for a medical card that would provide health coverage for the things she will definitely need (such as home healthcare, prescriptions, and such.) So, this would obviously be a huge blessing for them and another huge weight off of her mind!!! We definitely need to pray that this comes through for them!!

The other thing is we need to pray that she does regain control of her legs. I can't even imagine how terrifying it must be to be so young and lose the ability to walk. She's got two small kids (5 and 2 yrs old) that definitely keep her on the move. And I know that she wants to be able to move right along with them. I know that no matter what happens, Kiesha will find a way to do what needs to be done. She's one of the toughest people I know, and things like this seem to just make her stronger. But, I don't want her to have to go through that. She needs her legs, Lord, and I pray that You will completely heal them for her.

Thanks for the prayers that you all have already given for her, and just continue to lift her up. She needs to be wrapped in the Lord's comfort more than ever right now.

P.S. HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY RUBEN!!!! Mommy would definitely be there for you today if she could!!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009
Hospital Update 1

Kiesha is okay. All scans of spine & head came negative in turning up a culprit for the tremors, numbness, & weakness in arms & legs. Neurologist thinks problem is related to old accident injuries.
He's prescribed muscle relaxers & physical therapy to help her relax, regain strength, and begin to walk again.

We appreciate everyone's prayers & support.

Kee will walk again. If for no other reason than she has to in order to leave the hospital. :-)

Ruben had a good birthday celebration all day long, starting with his preschool and ending at home with "Da Girls".

I'll continue to keep all posted on the latest with Kee now that I have her new Samsung Eternity phone with unlimited internet. Woohooo!!

Yours truly,

Friday, April 24, 2009
Going Home

Through sheer determination, if not hard-headedness, Kiesha has asked to be discharged to go home.
I am picking up her meds. She will likely see the neuro doc on an outpatient basis and we will go from there.


Saturday, April 25, 2009
Kiesha Having a Restful Day

Kiesha has been home now for close to 22 hours and she is doing better. She is eating more, walking more, sleeping more, and relaxing more. She is still dealing with a headache, her neck pain, and back pain but the only prescription right now is rest and muscle relaxers. I have bought Kiesha a therapeutic foam contoured pillow hoping that helps with the next pain. I bought some therapeutic heat pads to put on her neck and alternate with a cold compress.

I know that she wants to catch up with everyone out there in "Blogger"land and cyberspace. So in order to make sure she doesn't over do it, I saved all her favorite blogs on her phone so that she can go online while still in bed resting. She's getting the hang of her new phone and I think she likes it a lot.

All Kiesha wanted over the past 72 hours was to go home. I can tell you now that it is good to be home. Nothing beats home. When all of us feel ill, tired, awful, stressed, and any number of other uncomfortable situations we always just want to go home. I know that home is often times a place but for everyone it is always a feeling - a feeling of comfort, a feeling of love, a feeling of belonging, a feeling of relief, or a feeling of purpose. Home is always a place you can turn to and it is always a place of healing. I hope you all have a "home".

A word to all you mommies out there - please take a lesson from Kiesha and do not try to be super mommies or caregivers. Always pray for love, patience, strength, and fortitude then listen to how God responds. First and foremost listen to what God tells you through your own body. When your body aches it is your body and, more importantly, God telling you to slow down and rest. Pray to Jesus for healing but then ask others for help. No doubt God has placed a loving hubby, friend, sister, brother, or neighbor in your life that is able to help and will do so. Talk to them and ask for help.

If you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, take it from me it is not, but do take that as a message from God to step back and reassess what is happening in your life. Often times stress, pain, frustration, and confusion isoloates you and blocks you from feeling God's love. You can open yourself to God's love but you can also block out God's love and care. God creates life through a family, but your family is greater than your spouse and your kids. The family you have in place is how God immediately and concretely graces you with His love and care for you. The more you reach out and surround yourself with these persons the more you'll feel God's love. The less you reach out to these folks and carry on more than your share of work, problems, etc, the less you'll feel God's love.

A perfect example is all of you here in "Blogger"land. I know Jenn but other than that I do not know a single one of you but I know you are family for Kiesha. She reached out to you and you responded with your prayers to comfort both of us. As I have said previously your prayers, lifted her up emotionally, spiritually, and physically. She definitely felt God's love through you, through our church family in Hopkinsville, through my co-workers, and through our neighbors.

I am glad Kiesha is home. I wish she felt 100% better. I pray for healing more than anything but I know it is out of my hands. I do not know God's plan but I do not worry about not knowing -- what shall be His will shall be His will. I trust that He will cradle my family in His arms, like we cradle our children. I pray for fortitude and the love I need to care for Kiesha and my family. I pray for peace to not worry about things that I cannot control. I pray for peace so that I may not worry about how we will pay for all her medical costs, but pray for faith and trust in God - that God will not provide us with a burden that we cannot carry.

This may be my last post on Kiesha's blog since this takes time away from caring for my kids, Kiesha, and mother-in-law. So in my parting words I thank you all for your intercessary prayers because God listens to the prayers of the righteous. I will ask that you continue to pray. If you are Catholic, or even if you are not Catholic but believe those in Christ are alive in heaven, then pray and ask Mother Teresa that she ask Jesus to care for Kiesha the same way she cared for the sick and poor of Calcutta. Pray and ask our Mother Mary that she may ask her son to heal Kiesha back to health. What son refuses his mother? :-)

May God bless you this day and forever.
Yours truly,
Jose Quinonez

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter

All dressed up and ready for Easter Mass

Coloring eggs with Dad and MaMaw

Coloring eggs with Mommy

Goofy Family Photo

Let the hunt begin.

In bed with Nana and all their loot.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Coach Q

Roo is playing spring soccer and has a new Assistant Coach, Coach Q. HHMMMM.....I wonder who that could be. If you can't figure it out here are some pics to help.

Also, just thought I would mention Roo did an awesome job today. He scored 3 goals, but even more important he was a great team player. I'm so proud of my little guy.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Sunday Pictures

Surprisingly, we all got up and made it to Mass on time, and was able to snap a few pictures before we went.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Your Gonna Miss This...Moment

Watching my little guy and his dad fly a Star Wars kite while he (Ruben) is dressed up as Darth Vader in our backyard is definitely on my list of things I will miss.
I thought the Star Wars thing was a phase but we are going on two years now and he wears that Vader outfit almost daily.

Head over to Pam's site for more Moments you don't want to miss.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Quick Visit with My Friend Jen

Jennifer and I met on an online moms forum when Ruben was a baby. We live 5 hours from each other and first met about 2 years ago. This was our second meeting and my first time meeting her adorable, sweet, perfect new baby Carter, well he's not brand new but to me he is.

She has two other little guys Jared and Alex. I can't believe how fast they are growing. I can't wait until we can get together again and hopefully it will be sooner and for longer this time.

Jen is awesome and I don't know how I would have made it without her these last few years, we have spent many many hours on the phone as our children have went from newborns to toddlers to starting school.
They were traveling to see her grandmother and stop here so we could have a quick visit.

I could have held Carter all day, good thing they don't live close because I probably would :)

Even Jose had to get his hands on this adorable little guy.

I love this one, Jared was probably thinking, "what the heck happened to Ruben's hair?"