Happy Birthday to the Funniest Most Honorable Man I Know

Today my honey turns 37, he's not happy about that but I am trying to convince him that 37 is in no way old.

Our anniversary is on Sun. and I have a post I am working on for that. God brought us together from many miles apart. And has seen us through so much in our 6 years of marriage.

But this post is dedicated to his birthday. I made him a German chocolate cake, his favorite, no one has to tell him it came out of a box, Shhhh.

I also slow cooked a roast which he loves. I wasn't able to make his favorite Mexican dish, Posole, which is what I usually make on his birthdays. But just did not feel up to it today. But I was able to pull off a cake and a meal and I'm so happy about that. I woke up feeling not so well, but pushed through to make this special for Hubby and the kids.

My hubby did not grow up celebrating birthdays where as my family always did. So I want to be sure to make every birthday memorable. He should definitely remember this one, he got an IPhone, I saved up for months. I gave it to him last week. I can't keep a secret to save my life.
Happy Birthday Honey, I love you with all my heart in the good times and the bad. Thanks for taking such good care of me.

Marriage, It Ain't Always a Fairy Tale

Update:
Right after I wrote this post, I checked the mail and the book had arrived. And then our pastor called to cancel our appointment because some emergency came up. I'm not sure if this is a sign that we should just read the book and not talk with our pastor. I just don't know. But I had taken all day to gear myself up to go talk to someone about my marriage and now it's not happening. I'm a little let down and confused as to what to do now.


I will give you fair warning this will not be a happy post. And I don't think all posts should be that way, you can read more about that here.

Today has been hard. I woke up to a screaming two year old, tried to clean the bathroom as much as I could, threw in a load of laundry, made breakfast for mom and Marissa and then helped the Home Health nurse with Mom's bath, which totally wears me out. I love my mom dearly, there are just some days where taking care of a 4 yr old, 2 year old, hubby, aunt and my, for the most part, bed bound mom just gets to be overwhelming at times.

I think what is at the bottom of all of this is that tonight Jose and I are going to our Pastor for marriage counseling, it may be one session or turn out to be several.

I was hesitant, and still am a little, to post that because his family reads this blog but I think it is important for me not to portray a happy little marriage and happy little life on our blog.

Like I said in the post I linked to above, I think it's dangerous to give people the impression that you have a perfect life and/or perfect marriage. It makes them feel even worse if they are going through trials in their own marriage or in their lives.

They need to know they are normal and every marriage no matter how it may look from the outside, has it's problems and challenges. We have a good marriage and have built our marriage on a solid foundation but if you don't spend time working on your marriage on a regular basis it can fall apart before you even realize it.

Because even when you are totally in love with each other, go to counseling before getting married, try to fight fair, try to put God at the center of your marriage, even with all of those things marriage is HARD.
Then you throw in kids and in laws living with you, stress at work or whatever situations you may face in your own marriage and it becomes all the more challenging to put the time and effort into your relationship. It can all build up and if the communication is not there the results can be bad and really damage your marriage.

There hasn't been any major damage to our marriage yet but we decided, well I think it was my idea, to go and talk to our Pastor. I want to deal with problems as they come up and not let them fester and cause damage in our relationship.

The thing is, I thought our marriage was going great, I guess I had my head in the clouds and wasn't paying attention to him, I don't feel like I have had a lot of time lately to pay attention to anything, and it doesn't help that it's not easy for him to show or talk about his feelings.

He is a great husband and father but there are things in our lives we all struggle with. I'm struggling with things right now, fighting personal demons and he has been too.

It's just been a really stressful time in our lives and I was too distracted and not focusing on my marriage and what the stress in our lives was doing to it.

We ordered the book Sacred Marriage which I learned about from MckMama.
It has not come in yet but I can't wait to get started reading it together.

I'm not looking forward to talking to our Pastor tonight about our marriage, and if I'm totally honest I have came up with three excuses why tonight is not a good night to go.

But I know that I am doing a disservice to my kids, my husband and myself not to mention not following what God put in my heart to do, if we don't go.

So we will go and I know we will work this out, because there is no other option and really in the bigger scheme of things it's not that big of a problem because hopefully we have caught it in time. Just pray that our meeting tonight goes well and we are able to get the guidance we need to get our marriage back on track.

I've Learned So Much From Him

I knew from the start, way before we were even married, that my husband was an honorable and compassionate man. I, however, did not know the extent of his honor, forgivness, compassion and patience.

Every day, every month, every year I see it more and more. I see his honor when he refuses to use his job title for any personal gain.

I see his faith every time I panic and worry, he stays calm and reassuring.

I see his patience when I snap at him and he does not snap back even when he has more than enough reason to.

I could go on and on but I will get to the point of this post.

I have now seen his forgiveness and compassion displayed in ways I never thought possible.

When we had to get my mom and aunt out of their house because of the ice storm and they had no heat, it was never a question that they would stay here until it was safe for them to return home.

Then my aunt had to spend a few days in the hospital and we realized that she is no longer capable of taking care of my mom on her own. So Jose told them they should move to our town and they could stay with us until they found a place. We talked about it beforehand but I never thought he would be totally open to the idea.

When they were worried how they would ever get all of their stuff out, he did not hesitate to tell them that we would do it.

Jose and I spent Valentine's Day at their house packing and sorting through their stuff. They have rooms that you can't even walk in. It is quite a daunting task.

Deana and Jose spent today there because I overdone it yesterday and needed to rest. On the way home Deana said that Jose told her that they should stay with us for at least a year to save money and get on back on their feet.

Not flinching when the subject of your mother-in-law moving in comes up takes a pretty terrific man.

But there's more.

I won't go into too much detail because it is in the past and we have moved on. But when Jose, Ruben, and I moved from CA to KY, we moved in with mom and Deana. It did not last long and we basically were threw out with no where to go and a 16 month old. There was blame on both sides but kicking us out with a baby and no place to go was something I thought would be one of the few unforgivable acts someone could do. And if it wasn't totally unforgivable it certainly is something that would not prompt you to open your home to them when they needed it.

He has done both, forgiven them and opened our home to them.

Jose has taught me how to forgive and he's taught me there is nothing that is unforgivable.

He continues to teach me how to live, laugh and love, how to be a better parent, daughter, wife, friend, and Christian.

I'm so thankful I know this man and even more thankful that this man is my husband.