Helpless

I really hate feeling helpless but right now I do. My heart is heavy tonight because of my little sister Elizabeth. She is not my biological sister but I have been in her life for 14 years since she was 8 years old and she is my sister in every way that counts.

She was in and out of trouble throughout her teenage years, sneaking out of the house, drugs and boys were always involved.
When she was 19 she had my niece, Elaina. We all thought when she had Elaina she would change and grow up a little bit. Unfortunately that did not happen. She left Elaina with her mom (my best friend Deb) when Elaina was just 2 months old.
Elaina will be 4 this month and Deb and her husband are in the middle of going to court for full custody for Elaina.

Several months ago Elizabeth got in a lot of trouble with the law and had charges pressed against her. I won't go into all the details of that. But the things she did involved members of our family and because of the things she did our family can no longer be there for her and I totally understand that and do not blame them at all. She has a court date for Feb. 4, 2009. They are very serious charges and I don't know what will happen.

She had been staying with her boyfriend, They have been together for a few years. He is also has charges pending against him. Last week her boyfriend's mother kicked her out.

She is 7 months pregnant and has only been to a doctor once and has not been on prenatal vitamins and has been using drugs on and off. We are not sure what kind or how much. I found out today that she is in a women's shelter.

When I found out today that she was in the shelter, I called there and left a message. I didn't figure she could call me back long distance (we live 6 hours from her) But a few hours later she called. It was good to hear her voice but I could tell how broken she was and it was really hard to keep it together on the phone.

My heart breaks for her. I know what she has done is wrong. And I want to say that she finally has realized the error of her ways but I can't because I have thought and said that so many times before and I was wrong. But she is my sister and I know what it is like to have everyone walk away from you because you screwed up big time. It's the loneliest feeling one could ever experience.

My first instinct is to get in my car, drive the 6 hours and bring her here. I did offer but she said the shelter is helping her to get her GED (she is dyslexic and has always struggled in school and with getting her GED) And they will help her with other things too. Counseling and getting a medical card so she can get to the doctor.

I think about the first time I met her. I was 18 years old and in a place where I had no one except my mom. She was an 8 year old chubby little girl who only had her mom and her brother. The day we met she was sitting on the couch waiting to meet her Big Sister (through big brothers/big sisters) She was so shy. It didn't take long for me to draw her out. She was laughing and talking on our first outing.

I remember taking her to get her first training bra. And worrying about her when she was 12 and no longer chubby and older guys started to notice her. At 12 she looked 16 She was so and is beautiful.

I remember letting her drive my truck at 14 or so. She was doing great until a bee came through the window and she went hysterical. It was not funny at the time but afterwards we laughed our butts off.

I miss her so very much and I hate the thought of her in a women's shelter. I used to work in one. Some are not bad but it's not a place you would ever want to be. Especially 7 months pregnant.

She says her legs and feet are extremely swollen. And she is in a lot of back pain.I hope they will get her to a doctor soon.

I am so very worried about that little person inside of her. I don't know what will happen with this little one. I just ask God to keep his hand on this sweet innocent baby.
I don't know if she will serve jail time and if so what will happen to that little one. I know family will eventually get it but if the baby is born addicted I'm not sure of the process that we will have to go through.

I wish I was there to put my arms around her and tell her everything will be alright. I am fighting the urge to get in my car and drive there. Even though she would only be able to see me for a few minutes because of where she is and their rules.

All I can do is pray even though at the moment it doesn't seem like enough. But I know God can take care of her. He is the one that brought us together so many years ago. He gave me a sister when I had lost mine. Not as a replacement but she helped fill the void and so did her family who became my family.

I ask everyone to say a prayer for Elizabeth and our family her unborn child and Elaina. I know God can take care of all of us and turn this situation around.


Elaina, Me, Elizabeth and Marissa
This was taken last year at our girl's birthday party. Elaina and Marissa share the same birthday, Nov. 28th.